Grip
by flaides
Summary: Yuuri finds that a court can control a king. Conrad denies the very courting that can give them both their happiness. Greatly ConYuu, CY. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Revelations

Grass stained his knees, the young man beside him panted. Where once the dark haired boy struggled to keep up, he now kept in pace with the long strides of the guard beside him. They inhaled, exhaled, crumbled over rocks and pathways and perspired with morning sweat. Beat. It was nothing but a heartbeat, a constant hum, white noise, in the background.

Conrad believed if he kept that beat going, then he wouldn't need to face what he feared.

This wasn't a fear of heights, or a fear of blood. It wasn't a fear of death or even war. It was something that gripped the soldier's heart with a certain vice that was different from those sorts of things. It was fear of himself, of the shallowness, of his sins.

The black crime of falling in love with Yuuri.

Had he ever considered that this feeling might exist before it had happened, maybe he could have been prepared. Maybe he could have put himself into papers and training and running and working so he wouldn't have had the _time _to fall in love. He could have put off those exciting feelings when Yuuri had first come to Shin Makoku, or each time he showed through the fountains when he arrived. But he hadn't known it was coming, and it had hit him hard. The very acknowledgement of his affections paraded over him on a usual night where he, poorly, suspected nothing to change.

"Conrad?" Yuuri had asked. It was after dinner, after a dry two months of Yuuri not returning to Shin Makoku. He was clean, from a shower. Night clothes, walking on the terrace. The angle of the sun and the cool breeze barely wrapping around the balcony. The exact hour where Conrad would wish his King a quiet sleep every evening, and the exact hour when Yuuri would give him his silent, calm attention. The young Maoh faced his knight perusual and said, "You could get a cold-"

There. And that was it.

Something of the sound wasn't _Yuuri's_ voice that had been concerned for his health. He had then examined the boy's face, and as the sun drifted below Yuuri's brow, Conrad's heart slid sideways and he saw _Julia_; he had seen her eyes, and the light formed her silhouette in Yuuri's frame. It had been _her _voice. A cold? Perhaps. Conrad was certain he must have been feverish.

But she was there, and the necklace was hanging limply at her neck, and without words she looked at him, seeing and not seeing.

He felt frightened almost, remembering things he tried so long to keep buried. It was choking and grabbing at his neck, and he wanted desperately to look away, full of guilt, dry at his throat and eyes. But then the woman's silence melted against the cool air and through the water color of the sky, wrapping around the ever familiar face of his king, sending Conrad its warmth- and with a hazy smile of his lips it was finally Yuuri who had said,

"Neh, Conrad, you could get a cold, you know."

That's all it took for him to know that Julia was happy, and she was free, in a sense- and she had spoken to him through his King. Julia was dead but she knew far before Conrad himself that he had fallen in love with Yuuri.

This could have happened yesterday, or maybe a week ago for all he knew. In such times his mind had become less aware, and he couldn't chain the memories to keep in storage. Yet for a few lasting hours after that day, Conrad had been caught up in the light tender feelings of love. He paid no heed to Julia's apparition or his mildly out of character joy, and was bombarded with thoughts of his King. His eyes glazed over at the sight of Yuuri's returns, and his step was lighter as the King walked beside him. His ears hitched at the sound of his own name falling from the boy's lips, the sound of his footsteps, so distinctly familiar and different from everyone else's. He became even more astoundingly acute to the young Maou, studying his face during dinner to discover what dishes Yuuri truly liked or secretly despised. He learned that Yuuri's eyes twinkled when Conrad came just at the right time to save him from Gunter, and, if need be, Wolfram.

Love. It was _love, _and Conrad was convinced it had been there all the long years of his life, dormant. He hadn't known that loving did not need to be a burden; and after all of the years he had wasted, wistfully watching, he released what cares he had of his consequences, and allowed himself to _feel._ Carefully, he discovered things that used to dwell beneath his poker eyes, and he brought them to surface, slowly revealing intentions and emotions that he had punished himself for ever having before.

And yet some part of Conrad's mind had stayed in check, and within days he returned with the heavy burden of place and situation. How he had allowed himself to be so elated, he didn't know. He was Yuuri's _guard _for Christ's sake. That title almost screamed hands off. The very revelation of his heart began to slowly creep back into what Conrad might have called extreme guilt- extreme desire. And then it went back into what it was locked in to begin with, and that even while he accepted his own feelings, he would never oppose them on Yuuri. If it would be his burden, than he would accept it with gratitude. So Conrad tucked away the small touches and sunsets, and he appreciated his gift from afar, only hoping that the Maoh could understand the growing affection that would never be said. These secrets were hidden under the recesses of Conrad's mind, and he intended to keep them there.

However the lovely Maou couldn't help but make things difficult with the time worn soldier, and now that realization had hit him, it was hard not to catch subtle things that were, beforehand, small trinkets of hope.

Conrad was almost tricking himself these days, and desperately. He had never thought that his desires would manifest and eventually become a bother. It had been so long since Conrad had desired anything of anyone, and a brush of the hand suddenly became a sensual caress, or a sigh from the lips of his king was instantly a sigh directed to his lovely knight for a dark longing touch. Conrad cracked with the difficulty overwhelming him. And if he had wanted to, if he had the courage or the lack of concern for how his confession may affect Yuuri, he would have told him the moment he had found out his heart. If it would have led to indulging in the sight of his King as his, with_out _the consequences, Conrad would be running through the castle halls, confession strings already flowing from his mouth.

But that would be too much. Almost the same as taking Yuuri by force.

So knowing he could not convince himself to drop this insane _want _of requited love,he turned to the hope that Yuuri was a taken man, his _brother's _man, and for awhile it had worked. Invisible perimeters surrounded Yuuri as hands-off territory once again.

But suddenly, Yuuri had called off the engagement. Conrad had been signing off soldiers' paperwork in his room when Yozak came in to tell him the news. His good friend chuckled and laid out his palm while Conrad grumpily handed him 20 dollars.

The castle employees had buzzed for weeks with the news and dodged green-eyed glares from the thoroughly pissed Wolfram night and day. Snickering maids in the kitchens hid beneath sugar whispers, claiming the young King simply _must _be "looking." Yuuri's nineteenth Earth birthday had come and gone, and now his face was devastatingly handsome, gaining him quite a few eager ladies to join in on the romancing. Interesting rumors from whichever hallway or wing in the castle claimed that Yuuri should be ripe to lay a woman down by now. Or a man, for that matter. Conrad twitched as he walked passed young maids who grew stone silent as he stepped by them, sensing he had been the object of gossip. And it certainly wasn't making it any easier on the thin layer of apprehension that was keeping Conrad back.

With such rumors of Yuuri being sexually ripe, Conrad had thought they would definitely prove false. (Never mind the constant elbow jabs from Yozak whenever he passed by.) He would sit in his stall readying horses, thinking of how it would be impossible for such an innocent boy to think of such things anyway. After all, Yuuri still possessed the ever charming boyish thoughts on relationships, and Conrad thought he was scot-free on explaining certain sex-ed situations to the young King. Even thinking of the young Maou simply _pondering_ a sexual relationship somewhat puzzled Conrad. Forgetting the fact that Conrad was fully capable of _pondering _those sorts of things himself. So while his heart was eagerly awaiting Yuuri's acceptance, at least the question of reengaging his libido in said situations would be out of the question.

But then Yuuri, so cleverly, had snuck in the topic while the two men sat in the large bath house. With Conrad's nerves so shot from his very acute feelings for Yuuri, it was already bad enough. A very real, warm, not to mention _naked_ Yuuri was suddenly shot from platonic to very _not _ words that came from his King's mouth that night shattered all resolve and woke up things that should be dormant for life.

"Conrad, have you done anything with a man?"

Wonderful. Any man, any human, any demon for that matter, would never be able to deal with such an undoing boy. His imagination was running wild and he came near to accepting his fate and telling Yuuri what he desired, but it was so inappropriate that his reflexes made him bite his own tongue on reflex. It was then that Conrad had kept his genuine soldier poker face and decided that it was only Yuuri's age. He had made an excuse and told him that, while it was common in Shin Makokou, he himself had never experimented. Yuuri's eyes looked crestfallen for a moment and Conrad wondered if he had missed out on a lesson that Yuuri was truly interested in. It was then that Conrad suddenly realized that they weren't looking down from disappointment. The bubbles in the bath had just simply run out.

Conrad managed to convince himself that Yuuri may had been looking at him with hidden lust in his eyes then, but that was a young man's nature. Had Conrad acted upon it, he would have regretted it. Yuuri had so much to deal with as a King, and release was certainly something everybody sought after during stress, so this wasn't seducing on Yuuri's part. The equation made sense in his mind and he ignored the weird looks servants gave him as he wrote out the problem in the air. Each time it came out to simple, young man libido. So Conrad forced those almost-flirty-not-quite images from his head.

But this, this charade, it was hard- no matter how much he desired him and loved him. It didn't matter anymore if his love was genuine- it was becoming tainted with Yuuri hanging right in front of him, dangling himself, almost teasingly. Conrad knew from experience that Yuuri most likely had no idea of what he was doing, but Conrad could see with his eyes thank you very much, and he noticed the small stares and wondering eyes Yuuri possessed. So, instead of poking the fire into something Conrad would enjoy thoroughly, Conrad distanced himself from that desire. He cut from morning jogs with excuses of courtly matters. Baseball became five minute catch-throw games. Yuuri didn't deserve a lover, hell even an admirer, that claimed innocent true love while their thoughts slipped sensuously. And as he cut the line that wound him around Yuuri, he felt a sharp singe in his veins, but it came with the after wake of relief. The strain of the days passed, and Conrad, though pining for attention oh so quietly, began to ease the raging storm of need inside him. Besides, Yuuri would never want a simple guard had he chose by himself- and Conrad standing around him constantly, always a finger's width away, was simply tricking the boy into thinking he desired anything of the soldier.

Conrad remembered _that _lustful nature acutely as a young man, so he began to, harshly yet well intentioned, ignore his King.

But as if God himself chose to torture the poor man, his dreams became antagonizing and sinfully sensuous; including a certain dark haired King writhing below him on the floor in some cabin somewhere in God knew what forest-

To put it simply, Conrad was seriously losing his mind. Never before had he been put up against such an obstacle. Nothing was _working. _What was he even fighting? He didn't really even know what his opponent _was_. Was it himself, his lust? Yuuri? He began to curse to himself and lose sleep, wishing he had never realized just how deep he was in.

He would never have time to figure out what he was battling, or how he could win, because he knew his little charade of escaping Yuuri's glances and touches was going to collapse. The boy basically was attached and had always seemed to find Conrad whenever he wanted to. (Taking into consideration that Conrad never moved to stop him from doing that.) He had an uncanny ability that matched Conrad's- he could find him anywhere, at anytime, had he so desired. And if on cue, Yuuri had walked down the hallway Conrad was monitoring and eyed him before Conrad could turn away. He had finally found him after days of interaction limited to hellos and goodbyes, and now, Conrad was cornered.

"Hey, Conrad."

Conrad was brought back to his senses, quickly stowing away things he had been thinking of, and forced himself to smile. He found it came easier then he expected it to. Yuuri slowly walked over to the tall man and waved a little, stopping before him and smiling as well.

"Sorry I haven't seen you for awhile. Everyone's been keeping me busy. Wedding suitors, meetings, stuff like that. I don't get it; I can't talk Gunter out of anything."

Conrad refused to allow himself to chuckle, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible. He was already tracing Yuuri's jaw line with his eyes, softening his gaze- something that had come natural at the sight of his King. Inside, sentences and phrases meant only for Yuuri poured onto his tongue, yet he kept them still, horrified that one might slip. His mind caught up with his eyes and was running with thousands of forbidden thoughts, filing out one by one. _Oh, hey, Yuuri, you're free? Why don't I just propose then-_

"It's just really hard to meet so many girls in one day! And they're all trying to meet me just because they want to be a queen. Well, I mean, obviously, isn't that like a girl fantasy or something?"

A chuckle slipped from Conrad's lips and he cursed himself, noting how Yuuri's eyes lit up from Conrad's enjoyment. The aura around his King was just too alluring and relaxing, and those dark obsidian eyes were starting to tug at him. He needed a way out, and fast, but Yuuri had already energized the conversation.

"Ah, ah, and this one girl, I can't remember her name but, she actually told me that-"

"Your Majesty-"  
"Yuuri."

"…Yuuri, I'm sorry, but I must tend to the soldiers today. You understand."

Conrad finally let his breath out and made to move to the side for his escape, deeply ignoring the overwhelming guilt weighing him, but Yuuri's small hand grasped his uniform's sleeve before he could brisk out of the hallway and forced Conrad to come to terms with what his brain was telling him to run away from.

He turned to look at Yuuri and tried his best not to analyze his facial features as he normally did, and convinced himself that the pained look in Yuuri's eyes wasn't there. He ignored the tightened lips that might hint at crying soon, and the slightly stitched eyebrows that conveyed a thousand words without Yuuri having to speak.

He paused and waited respectfully for Yuuri to speak, instead of dashing from his touch.

Yuuri bit his lip and faltered, obviously about to spill something out. Conrad had become so good at reading the boy that it was as if the words had already leaked onto the floor. And he already knew what they might be.

In order to stop the stream of sentences about to erupt from Yuuri's lips, and to decrease his chances of cracking and taking what he really wanted from the boy; soul, mind, skin…he brought up a proposition.

"Maybe this evening, we can play catch."

Conrad cursed himself, realizing what he had said yet keeping his facade, while Yuuri's face lit up. His eyes seemed to catch a glow and Conrad inwardly winced, already seeing the worse case scenarios of being alone, playing baseball. He could already foresee the terrible things that he himself would not be able to resist any longer, but yet on top of being alone with the boy, it would be in the evening, when Yuuri always did make the sunsets look best and- he didn't know which one was worse. Silently he hoped his king had paperwork-

"I would love that." Too late.

Yuuri let go of Conrad's sleeve and smiled brilliantly pink, brushing off invisible dust from the rest of the man's uniform. Conrad's eyes softened but he kept his guard up, waiting till the young King might leave his site to let his heart loose.

"Man, I have papers to sign though...I'll finish quick, alright!? Good luck with the soldiers."

Conrad's lips almost formed an excuse, but Yuuri was too fast for his own good. With excitement written across his face, he gave a final smile to his protector, squeezed his left hand briefly, and made his leave.

He dashed off down the hallway and past the kitchen, turned left and disappeared. Conrad blinked. He had never seen Yuuri run to go do _paperwork _so fast in his life. But he supposed if he wanted to play baseball with Yuuri for awhile then-

No!

What was he thinking? The baseball date was bad. And now it was a _date? _Conrad felt so flustered that he could have sworn he had caught a nervous bug from Yuuri. Never before had anyone been such an issue to him. It was infectious, biting at his flesh, simply refusing to anchor elsewhere. Now he felt like those young girls, excitingly waiting for their crushes to acknowledge that they even existed. Not only that, he had lied to his King. _Lied. _There were no soldier drills today, let alone any work. Conrad had been off duty the entire morning and instead of spending his time with Yuuri, he had been ruthlessly figuring out ways to avoid him.

And now, even though he had desperately tried to escape his object of affection, he had set up a date with him instead.

Conrad Weller, despite his efforts, never could say no to a pretty face.

_________________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading this first installment. The next part will probably be up in a matter of days, depending on my reviews D: I am very fragile since this is my first attempt, and I would appreciate no negative comments. I'm sorry if it is difficult to read, considering I tend to write in the form of stream of consciousness. Please stay with me!( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ


	2. An Interesting Dinner

Papers overwhelmed Conrad's desk. He eyed each one and signed reasonably, watching as the dark ink of his pen morphed to his image of Yuuri's double-black. His eyes blurred as the sun dropped and he noticed with increasing intensity that even while his stack of papers didn't seem to lessen, the time flew past him with amazing speed.

It was with every passing hour that Conrad remembered his promise he had made to Yuuri just that morning.

When finally the sun was barely hanging onto the horizon, Conrad grabbed his baseball glove without thinking and stood away from his desk, debating on whether he should actually spend this alone time with Yuuri or not.

One part of him desperately wanted to see his King. He wanted just to bathe in the way Yuuri's youth shone like it always did and silently catch the small white ball they threw back and forth, listening to Yuuri's ramblings that were sounding more and more like a young man versus the young boy Yuuri once was.

Conrad was dwindling, _dying_ from the lack of time he spent with his King, and he had never truly thought to stop and think about it until he was finally alone, now, in his office. Now it was like a forbidden fruit, this alone time with him, the mere thought of _being _alone with him.

But then the other part of him chimed in. Yuuri? In the evening? What a joke- that was a set up for failure by just stating them all in one sentence. The nice, peaceful "silence" wouldn't be _real_ during their little game of catch anyway because Conrad's imagination surely wouldn't be quiet. And that would just give Conrad more time to feel uncomfortable under Yuuri's adolescent gaze. Knowing a pair of eyes is gazing at you while you try not to imagine the body that_ held_ those beautiful eyes…

There's no way he could play catch like that. He'd end up with a black eye.

And yet something in him told him he was acting selfish. He _was_ Yuuri's mentor, and it wasn't fair to Yuuri for him to just leave him behind like that. He had been avoiding him for almost two weeks now, and he was sure Yuuri had noticed already. And yet, wasn't wanting to spend every waking moment with the boy selfish as well?

Conrad rubbed his palm over his face to shake away the fatigue creeping into his skin, feeling the curl of leather baseball mitt under his fingers, the familiar feelings of intimacy creeping behind his ears. He shook them away, remembering that the last time somebody had become close to him, it had ended in tragedy. With a final resolve he told himself that he couldn't let it happen again, and he put the glove down. After all, he wasn't fooling himself, thinking he could have a choice in the matter. It was simply that he could _not _be with Yuuri, he could _not _have Yuuri as his, and he definitely had no right of claim on him whatsoever.

After a final glance at the glove sitting lonely at his desk, he walked towards his door to leave. In a crude sense, Conrad was ditching the Maoh, yes, but he would have to make the sacrifice. His goal was to remain in the stables and tend to the horses instead of running to the field, before Yuuri inevitably found him if he stay in his office.

Conrad hurried to the door, worried a sudden visitor would thrash his plans.

Yet as he reached his door, a surprising face creaked it open. Conrad winced and a silent Gwendal walked in. He nodded at the same time Conrad sighed from relief. It wasn't Yuuri, meaning he was free for now.

"Did you forget about dinner? That's the first time in 87 years."

Conrad blinked at his older brother and paused, nodding- amazed at the amount of energy thinking about Yuuri took from him. The sun was completely gone now, due to the time his inner struggles took on deciding whether he should meet Yuuri or not. No wonder his stomach was aching for something to eat. Seeing Gwendal's silent stare, he gave him an excuse.

"The paperwork was more than usual this evening."

Conrad had that feigned smile on again and he bowed his head to his brother respectfully, hiding any mishaps underneath his skin. And yet they still persisted, scratching at his heart.

"I'll walk with you to the dining hall."

"Of course."

Conrad hurriedly walked into the hallway, avoiding Gwendal's eyes and taking his place beside him. Gwendal said nothing and shut his door, letting his heavy steps walk slowly to the dining area. His presence almost beckoned Conrad to follow.

While Conrad would openly admit he loved his brother, it was difficult to get any closer to Gwendal than he already was, which wasn't much. He already knew that trying to start a conversation with him would be futile. The two remained completely silent through their walk to the west corridor. And yet Conrad welcomed the company, thinking constantly of how it _could_ have been Yuuri. If it had been, he would have failed then. They would have ended up ditching dinner like they usually did to play baseball or talk or smile or whatever, and Conrad didn't know if he could handle that right now.

Had it been Yuuri though, Conrad's left side of his heart would have slid out and he would have been excited to see him nonetheless. Plus, he always loved to see Yuuri's face when he came to _his _office; Yuuri's face seeking out _him…_

Conrad's feet carried him straight to the dining hall behind Gwendal without thinking, his mind running off in varying directions- though anyone on the outside wouldn't notice. Whether or not anyone could tell, he could hear his thoughts go wild, and he inwardly sighed with exasperation. This was becoming all too much. Before, it had never been a problem. There was always some sort of underlying wave beneath his skin when Yuuri was nearby, but then it had been containable. Some two weeks ago it was a sort of thin air that certainly didn't choke him as it was doing now.

Gwendal cleared his throat and Conrad let his eyes shoot to the back of his head, afraid that his brother was too in tuned for his liking. He forced his gaze to linger there until they eventually traveled under the awning to the dining room, hoping his thoughts wouldn't stray if his eyes were at least fixated.

Gwendal cleared from the front and allowed his younger brother to walk in, not bothering to give a welcome to anyone who had looked up from the table. Conrad took the incentive and plastered that brilliant smile of his across his face, trying to graciously beeline to his chair and avoid all other contact.

And then his eyes brought him instinctively upon Yuuri at the front of the table, regardless of his efforts.

He was reading some sort of paperwork with his plate in front of him, waiting to be served. His frail hands were gripping the sheets with a certain intensity about them that only solider eyes would have noticed, and Conrad tried to make nothing of it. Occasionally, when Yuuri looked up and caught people's eyes, he would graze over Conrad's sight, and would then frantically look back and scan his obviously important papers.

Yuuri formally looked up from his documents at Conrad when he entered the room properly, just in time for the man to divert his eyes to the closest thing possible, which happened to be Wolfram.

His face was sour and the blonde scoffed, looking away and to his wine glass, which probably had something less strong than wine inside. Wolfram seemed pretty ruffled, at least more than usual, which most likely had something to do with the cancellation of the engagement. Something irked inside of the soldier akin to guilt, something foreboding and dark, something like vile. He was sure his face was being read by the blonde, yet Wolfram didn't seem to notice and simply refused to acknowledge Conrad's presence. And, to Conrad's astute observations, the blonde had still insisted upon sitting at Yuuri's left.

But Conrad; Conrad's seat was to Yuuri's right, a small cherry wood seat that stood gracefully even when empty. It was followed by several others, ending with Gunter at the other end chattering of something or the other. He walked over to his place as second nature told him to, but hesitated at the last moment. It was then that he noticed Yuuri had been looking at him the whole time, waiting for his knight to notice, and that he would have to speak with Yuuri and interact with him _eventually._ He looked down at him and noted the gracious curves of Yuuri's smile, the soft pink on the bottom lip and the charm his expressions held. He returned it with a smile he hoped to be half of what his King's was.

Conrad was half tempted to give a little bow to Yuuri before he sat, but a voice in the back of his mind told him that was a bit too much like flirting considering his personality, and he pulled out his chair instead.

Conrad took his seat and before he could even have the chance to avoid Yuuri, Gunter made a huge show of standing up, clapping his hands for attention.

The solider could hear Yuuri groan to the left of him and became immediately intrigued, wondering what announcement could be so bothersome.

"Well we all know that our lovely Maoh has grown so fast…!"

The table shuffled uncomfortably and someone coughed, ignoring Gunter's beginnings of a nosebleed.

He continued on and even Conrad's mind began to wonder, gazing across the table at his mother for a moment and past Wolfram's constant sneer. Gunter's voice turned into a dull murmur, and he zoned for a second, somehow remembering instances of when Yuuri had attempted to show him how to cook curry- until a harsh "psst!" broke his concentration.

He looked at Wolfram for a second but realized he was looking away, then looked, almost hesitantly, towards his King.

Yuuri smiled and waved with one hand almost beneath the table, the other pulling on the red satin cloak draped around his neck and shoulders. Conrad smiled in return and was about to look away in fear of snapping, but Yuuri waved his hand out in an attracting fashion In order to get Conrad to keep looking at him.

This time, Yuuri's face was desperate. Conrad cocked an eyebrow and leaned ever so slightly towards the boy and honed his hearing, all the while glancing at Gunter to assure he hadn't seen them plotting anything.

Yuuri's voice came out in a raspy whisper at first, and he had to clear his throat for Conrad to hear him.

"I need you to get me out of here."

Conrad looked at Yuuri in mild surprise, wondering if he understood the full extent of interrupting Gunter's speeches. Furthermore, he wondered if Yuuri knew what exactly that could imply had they been lovers at present. If the maids were overhearing this, Conrad's reputation of restraint was done for.

"Your Majesty-"

"No, Conrad, I need to leave."

The tone in Yuuri's voice snagged Conrad's eyes and he turned to face him. Yuuri was being more tense than usual, something that was completely not expected from the boy when he was talking to his knight. Something about that made Conrad worried and he felt a metallic tinge in his throat, warning him about something. Yuuri's eyebrows were stitched together and he gazed at Conrad, worrying at his upper lip. His fingers curled at the fabric around his neck and he seemed to be almost sweating.

"Are you all right, your Majesty?"

Conrad kept his tone completely professional, despite the tremendous, overflowing worry in his veins. He felt it rush through like a familiar fire, ready to thoroughly dismantle anything that was bothering Yuuri, but remained in his seat. His face stayed stone still as Yuuri nervously fidgeted, yet Conrad wasn't quite able to stop the natural flow of adrenaline that tended to pulse when Yuuri was bothered.

" I don't… I already know what Gunter's saying, he told me about a week ago…"

Yuuri stopped abruptly and looked up, seemingly paying attention, and instantly Conrad knew Gunter was looking in their direction. He pretended to be slightly crouched over, fixing the table cloth, then looked at the silver man's face and nodded. He hoped the man thought he was paying attention, and Gunter fell for it.

"Ah, get me out of this! He's…he's…"

Conrad didn't dare look at his King in fear of giving him away, and he was surprised that no one else was. Cheri was quietly speaking to Greta, and Wolfram was the one passing their little folded notes back and forth. Everyone rustled quietly and Conrad supposed they were all too busy to hear Yuuri's cries for help.

He looked at Yuuri then, hardly able to hold his concern back. "Just tell me what's wrong, Yuuri." He stated, giving the young man an encouraging look.

Yuuri blinked and glanced over at Conrad, still worried.

"I don't want to-"

"-BE ENGAGED AGAIN!"

Conrad flinched at Gunter's loud voice and saw all the clapping around the table. He immediately clapped along with them, registering everything. Yuuri froze then slumped, rubbing his face with his hands all in one fluid motion. He looked through his fingers at an applauding Conrad, who was clapping yet still slightly confused.

...No.

_No._

...What?

Gunter nodded and kept chiming through the applause, even while Yuuri obviously looked mortified. Conrad clapped along, his thoughts screaming at him in vertiginous motion.

"Yes! Quite wonderful news, of course!" Gunter's eyes were brimming with silent tears, Cheri was waving her napkin in rejoice, Wolfram was looking away from Yuuri with iron resolve- and Gwendal… Gwendal was being himself, his eyebrows slightly twitching.

Conrad was smiling, smiling so well he didn't even know it himself- and he looked at Yuuri, panicking, wondering if this had been brought about because someone had found out or-

Yuuri cleared his throat, and finally spoke up to the table.

"I don't even know if I'm ready to choose, there's too many."

Conrad's eyebrows stitched as if he couldn't quite grasp what Yuuri was saying. Was he stating that he suspected Gunter wanted him to search all of Shin Makoku?

"Y…Your Majesty, only a few days remain!"

"I know that!"

Was Conrad the only one confused?

He looked around and saw Wolfram pouting per usual, Cheri still clapping, and Gwendal actually looking quiet and satisfied. Greta, who had come back from whispering to Cheri, was smiling as well. He must have missed something earlier in the week, or…

In an attempt to make it seem like he was paying attention but to find out information as well, Conrad asked, "Perhaps his Majesty could wait to choose-"

"Conrad! Yuuri has to be at least engaged in three days, he can't wait! The court calls!" Gunter spilled out some tears and dabbed them with a cloth. "Ah… he was only just sixteen…"

Cheri smiled and was cheering Yuuri on while Wolfram pushed his dishes aside and excused himself. Gwendal was thinking god knows what and Greta was fine and smiling like she normally was, but Conrad…

Conrad hesitantly looked at Yuuri, who was staring at the intricate patterns of the tablecloth. The papers he had been sorting through earlier sat by his silverware, and for the first time, Conrad caught what they said. "ROYAL ENGAGEMENT." After that followed a list of names.

Yuuri must have taken so long in choosing a partner after the engagement to Wolfram was annulled that the court was pushing this against him. Conrad knew the customs, but it had never really registered within him. Yuuri was nineteen, (and with his stature, seemed more years than that to the people) with no wife, and no biological children. As the sole heir of the throne, Yuuri's future relied completely on his offspring, and Greta had taken care of that. But apparently the people wanted a queen.

"What a fabulous list to choose from, Your Majesty! You may choose to court and marry any of the noble's daughters! Oh if that's not your fancy I have a noble's sons list here-"

Yuuri groaned and stood, the papers on the table shuffling and falling to the floor. Gunter immediately quieted himself and stared at his king, slightly taken aback.

"Your Majesty-!"

"I'll decide who when I'm ready! Just give me the list."

Yuuri walked abruptly over and snatched the list from his mentor's hand, ignoring the shocked gazes from Cheri and yes, even Gwendal.

Conrad attempted to stand but thought the better of it, watching silently as Yuuri scanned over the paper, clenching it tightly with one hand.

When had this even happened? Conrad's mind reeled and he tried to remember if any of his brothers had mentioned this and he had simply forgot, or maybe he had signed a paper without seeing what it really said, or…

He looked quietly at Yuuri, at the Maoh's fingers shaking and flexing. Yuuri's mouth opened slightly as if to say something, but only Conrad noticed, and it was closed before anything fell out. His heart leapt and he vainly tried to read the King's eyes, but nothing came to him for once in his life, and he struggled with the notion that Yuuri had really become a true King and was accepting his courtly fate.

Before anyone else could say anything, Yuuri turned around, never looking up to meet anyone's eyes, and walked briskly out of the dining hall, tipping his chair over in a rush as he went.

_____________________________chapter 2 end

Ah...! First of all, I can't believe... the hits.. over 300. And the comments. I thank each and every one of you for taking your wonderful time to comment... I am so awestruck. Never had I thought I'd receive so many positive comments in a first try! Thank you, thank you so much! I'm so glad that any negative comments were kept at bay as well. Thank you....for your refrained thoughts...TT+TT

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Thank you to Amanda, Raven Cactuar, Gaelic Lover, dreamerswaking, Goddess of All Knowing-ness, showmaster64x, markyc58, Rodick, Miss Plague, RuByMoOn17, Katie, sweetsally, aida135, Aigle and anyone else who favorited or tagged this story! It's all because of you guys that I'm continuing! I promise to update much faster this time. Please continue reading!


	3. How Weller Lies

Conrad was signing papers again after dinner, almost glad that the baseball date had been canceled without question, considering Yuuri had locked himself in his room. When he had almost reached a quiet sort of peace at his desk, the two men Conrad feared would come to him knocked on his door and entered Conrad's room late in the night, and abruptly, cutting off any escape. Gwendal and Gunter had simply barged in and had surrounded the man at his desk, pouring papers and questions at him.

If Conrad was startled at the abruptness of it all, he showed no sign of it, and watched as even more filing papers piled onto his desk. He looked up questionably at Gwendal, who had even more of a prestigious feel about him then usual. He knew where this was going.

"This persistence from the Maou cannot continue. Yuuri needs to take a bride, preferably a noble bride, by the end of these three days."

Gwendal's eyebrows stitched together as he got to the point, very sharply, and Conrad studied his older brother, accessing the situation. Gunter was nervously twitching and yet took an extra seat at Conrad's desk, trying to busy himself by organizing the stacks of paper that sat there haphazardly.

It was quiet for the most part as Conrad thought on how to advance. Something about the way Gwendal was looking at him told him to step lightly and keep his guard up. The demon's eyes were piercing, and almost smug, as if he had finally figured something out. Every moment Conrad wasted not saying anything, Gwendal's eyes delved ever deeper into his gaze.

"I know its urgent Gwendal, but honestly, three days-"

"The King has had two weeks."

Conrad was a bit taken aback by Gwendal's urgency. The man was known to be rather quick and sharp tongued, but this was off base. Even while the _man _was known to be iron willed and stubborn, _Gwendal _was known to work with a quiet pace behind everyone, quickly getting things done unless something forced him to be public about it. Conrad had no clue as to why he might be so pressured about this.

"I don't understand. What's the real situation here?"

Conrad waited as his brother paused, the question hanging in the air. No doubt Gwendal was realizing he could not get his younger brother's support without first explaining himself.

"The court… they're threatening an overturn again. He has been a simple king for far too long. Think about this, Konrart."

Gwendal's use of his name came back harshly and Conrad questionably looked at him, noting the attack his older brother's eyes were making. He hadn't heard his birth name since his brothers stopped hating him. Something about that made him terribly uneasy.

"Simply think about it. His Majesty had been engaged nearly three years, and that had never even come to a small amount of fruition. That alone was enough to thoroughly piss half the members of the council. And now His Majesty refuses to come to terms with dozens of proposals from very high end noble families. He is insulting royalty. It is only natural that the council ponders an overturn."

Gwendal paused and looked over to Gunter, who had begun tearing up. When he noticed he was being stared at, he dabbed at his eyes, but that only seemed to let out a stronger stream of tears.

"I tried to hurry his choosing!" He was heaving with hysterical sobs between words. "His Majesty- His Majesty!"

Gunter made to leave, streaming with his sorrows, but Gwendal grabbed his coat sleeve and forcefully sat him back down. He continued, ignoring the sobs.

"Now, Konrart, we both know that if the council threatens, they will proceed regardless of the outcome. And most likely, things will go their way. Three days is the only time he has left. No one else can convince him. Unless, of course, you want Yuuri to end up with someone at random, and unwillingly."

There. That was the reason they were here, and it had been all wrapped up with the only guilt trip Gwendal had given him since he was nine, when he regrettably ruined a favorite sweater of his. Conrad sighed deeply and rubbed a temple, doing his best to avoid stepping his boundaries with Gwendal. He was already pretty pissed off.

"You're asking me to tell his Majesty…that it's best to wed. And to pick someone he doesn't know."

Gwendal didn't even nod, but at the increasing intensity of Gunter's sobs, Conrad guessed he had it right.

"Is that truly the best? If it comes down to it, his Majesty can make his own-"

"No." Conrad slid a little at Gwendal's harsh proclamation, losing his own confidence in the matter.

"He has _no time. _We cannot risk an overturn. You should know- by how you lead your life Konrart- that royals, even half royals, never end up with who they really love."

That hurt.

Conrad winced inwardly and looked away from Gwendal's knowing gaze, knowing all too well that his brother would be able to read him. Certainly not fully, but enough to understand the harbored feelings beneath his eyes. Hell, he probably already knew of them. They burned at the back of his irises so blatantly that he was amazed no one had ever said anything to him.

"Talk to him tonight. Just get it over with."

Gwendal briskly brushed himself away from the desk, his aura almost commanding Gunter to follow. Nevertheless he grabbed Gunter by the arm and opened the door for the sobbing tutor and made to leave, Conrad watching him stand in the middle of the doorway. Gunter ran off crying and Conrad waited for whatever blow Gwendal would give him next. He always needed to leave with the last pained word.

When Gwendal finally looked back at Conrad, the brunet braced himself on his chair, finding that in no way did he want to be confronted about this…this terrible love plaguing him. He waited graciously nevertheless.

Gwendal sighed, feeling Conrad's pain, and looked away as he spoke.

"Don't make this any more difficult than it already is. Keep what you have to yourself."

The door slammed shut and Conrad's fingers tightened on the desk's edge, turning his skin cold. So, Gwendal did know. Conrad berated himself for ever letting his feelings get the best of him, and wondered when it had been possible that Gwendal had ever caught on. Gwendal was no fool, he knew that, but Conrad didn't really count himself short either. He was doing everything in his power to hide this terrible ache, but apparently, it hadn't worked.

Perhaps it had been at dinner, when he offered, more than usual, to take Yuuri's chair out for him, or when he stood up as Yuuri left the table with a bit too much enthusiasm. Maybe it was too many offerings of baseball. Maybe it was even more discreet, like the way he seemed to placidly smile around Yuuri, or anything else that Conrad might pay attention to but never gave anyone else the time of day…

Regardless, Conrad concluded that this whole endeavor was becoming too risky, and he was no longer in the clear. Gwendal knew, and if _Gwendal _knew, _Anissina _probably knew, and if _Anissina _knew… well, need he say more.

Immediately he forced himself to stop thinking of the consequences when it came to him. He felt it as a bad omen, as if it called Wolfram straight to his office and he was already interrogating him. He didn't want anyone _angry_ at him. Especially his little brother. Most of all, he didn't want this predicament to ruin everyone's lives. He just wanted Yuuri.

_So maybe this is for the better._

Conrad reasoned that, if he could convince Yuuri to marry, then he would be off limits again, and he could in turn forget these assiduous thoughts of his charge. If Yuuri married, they could go on being together and Conrad would be able to take what he could from his blessings, and he could still protect him from afar. He could still have baseball and jokes and everything else that went along with Yuuri, and he himself would be protected from ever letting anything slip.

He chose to ignore the voice that told him not wanting anything more of Yuuri was impossible.

With some sort of new resolve, he took in the words his older brother had told him. Gwendal was right in a lot of ways, and his advice of keeping whatever he had to himself was a good token. He'd have to start wrapping what he had away immediately if he ever hoped to completely make his desires latent.

Conrad stood and forced himself to leave his office, not double guessing or rethinking his motives or ponderings. If he was to do it, he was to do it now. He'd walk straight up to Yuuri and with an authoritative tone state that there was no other way anymore. He wouldn't give in and he wouldn't cave at the Maoh's eyes, and he'd even get himself to ignore the pleading look the boy would probably give him. Yes, that was exactly what he'd do.

However, when he finally managed to reach Yuuri's door, his thickened resolve seemed to deteriorate, and he was once again wondering if he was going about this the right way. He stared at the engravings and had his hand hovering to knock, but he placed it back at his side. He seriously had to think about this.

For one, supporting the others' decision was the same as going against Yuuri's feelings, and he could anger him in that regard, and be on bad terms.

Two, giving into Yuuri's silent cries for help would only make him cave ever the more, and that wasn't good either.

Three, if Yuuri _did _get him to cave, he'd probably say something he shouldn't and might as easily just grab Yuuri and leap from the window in escape, and then…

He scratched that one out.

He would just do what Gwendal and Gunter had suggested, and not make it an issue. He could always deliver it softly, as was his nature with the boy, and comfort him afterwards as usual. He just needed to hurry up and _get it over with-_

"Hello?"

Conrad froze and looked straight at the door, half expecting to be caught in some sort of act. It took him a moment to realize Yuuri was behind it, obviously not prepared to just let someone into his room yet.

He cleared his throat, hoping desperately; scared he had set this up the wrong way.

"Your Majesty, a word?"

There was immediate silence and Conrad panicked, picturing a horrible sight of Yuuri teary eyed and helpless, but then his small voice came from behind the intricate door's patterns.

"You're always going to call me that, aren't you?"

A click and the door was open, Yuuri standing in the frame still in his daily clothes. He gave a wary smile to his protector, clinging onto the door. Something about him exuded of fatigue, and Conrad almost felt bad that he had interrupted his evening.

"You can come in. Make sure no one's with you, though."

Yuuri broke away from the door and walked back into his room, Conrad hesitantly following behind him, but not before he checked the hallway for any trespassers. He closed the door silently and made a final prayer that nothing would go awry.

No lights were on, but Conrad could see main silhouettes due to the half moon hanging out the window, and he tactically found a good spot to view Yuuri from. The door let in little light, silently behind him, and for a moment the stillness it caused was suffocating.

"Sorry I couldn't go meet for baseball. I just got upset, I guess."

Yuuri sat down abruptly in a chair and ran a hand over his face, obviously attempting to wipe the tiredness away. Conrad noticed but kept quiet, due to the guilt overwhelming him. If anything, _he _had missed the meet, not Yuuri.

"Ah, it's quite alright. But about dinner…"

"No. Please… I just… I just want to forget about that."

Yuuri slumped and Conrad immediately backed off. He had been so quick to get this over with that he had forgotten that Yuuri needed coaxing, silent reassurance when he was upset. Getting Yuuri out of his shell was like trying to tease a splinter from the skin.

Silence wrapped around them for a bit once more, and Conrad watched as Yuuri sat there. He was menacingly quiet, but surprisingly it wasn't awkward, and the soldier waited for Yuuri's willingness to speak.

"I never thought I'd just have to… just have to _pick."_

A deep sigh.

Yuuri truly was upset, but Conrad couldn't let this get to him. He was sent here for a reason, and he couldn't be giving in now. No matter how hard it hurt to see Yuuri sitting there, stranded, hopeless…

Conrad opened his mouth but Yuuri began talking again.

"What would you do if you were me, Conrad?"

Conrad didn't move, didn't let his lips betray him, and quietly gazed at Yuuri. In all honesty, he probably would ignore procedures and such and just gone and courted the young King, but that certainly wasn't optimal advice right now.

He could tell him he'd run away with him if need be, just so he wouldn't have to end up with someone else. He could tell him he'd never even pick someone else. But these things were better off six feet under, and he chose to not answer that specific question.

Yuuri stood up abruptly, a forced smile on his face, and he stepped up in front of Conrad. For a moment he noticed his protector's stern face, but he smiled it off, used to it, and looked up at him.

"Did you ever think about getting married?"

Conrad was slightly taken aback, but he caught his face before it formed surprise. He held it steady and watched Yuuri's ever steady gaze as he looked down at him.

"Married?"

"Yah. You know. Commitment, engagement. All that."

Yuuri kept smiling, but there was a wistfulness in his eyes, and Conrad did nothing to change his stern face. Whatever formalities he was holding out started crumpling, but he would never let his features display such a thing.

"I guess I never did."

It was a short answer, and Conrad hoped it would suffice.

Yuuri said nothing for a moment, the little smile he had dropping. For a moment he looked awkward, as if whatever he was attempting at had failed. He twiddled his forefingers together and glanced at them quickly, shuffling his feet. In almost a defeated manner, he moved to turn and walk away.

Before Conrad could give a sigh of relief, Yuuri swerved back again and looked up at him, a visage of determination amongst him.

"Really? Never? Not even with Julia?"

"Of course not."

The response was immediate, and it flew from Conrad's mouth without second thought. In fact, it had almost come out sternly, so he picked his voice up again to smooth Yuuri's reaction.

"Well, we were very close. But marriage never once crossed my mind."

He was so _lying. _Certainly not about Julia, but about wanting Yuuri. _With_ him. For all he could count for. He didn't care if marriage was domesticated or dysfunctional- if it meant that Yuuri was bound by law to him, he would want it with a fierceness that was his own.

But he solely remembered Gwendal's words, and he wrapped those sympathies along with all the good memories now retreating to the back of his mind.

Yet Yuuri wasn't convinced.

He knew Conrad, and something about the way the man stood reminded him of a duck trying to be a swan. And Conrad knew this as well. Yuuri's eyes were peering, looking much like Gwendal's, and instantly his resolve was dissipating to nothing.

"Conrad… if you've never thought of it… maybe you can start thinking of it now?"

The words slapped Conrad in the face and he stared down at Yuuri, reeling.

This was definitely _not _going in the right direction. He knew why Yuuri was doing this. He knew the teen was panicked at the thought of picking someone he never knew to marry him. He knew he was the best candidate to a mixed up mind. He had to stop this before Yuuri confused himself into actually falling in love with him, before the boy made rash decisions. He had to make excuses again.

"I don't think that-"

"What _do_ you think? Tell me, because I'm seriously hanging on a limb here."

Conrad blinked, his mouth barely open, registering and looking for an escape. Yuuri was being bizarre again, staring up at him, anguish written across his face. But even with that, Conrad didn't dare to speak without thinking. This would unravel everything that they both had worked for. This simply couldn't happen. Yuuri couldn't afford to even _think_ he felt these feelings, and he himself couldn't let his emotions and desires run askew like this.

"I'm thinking that you're tired, Your Majesty-"

"No! I'm not tired Conrad, I'm not. Just…"

Yuuri made to grab Conrad's uniform but he stopped, backing up a bit more, never losing eye contact. His lips tightened and his eyebrows stitched in his aggressions, filling the room with anxiety.

"I know what you're thinking, but obviously I can't take the sweet time I want to slowly… slowly advance with this. If I had to pick, I'd… I…"

Conrad shut down his tenderness instantly. He knew what was rolling off the boy's tongue, just as that day in the hallway where he had used a baseball date to get away from it. But now, the consequences were too deep. A single word could devastate the entire Hierarchy. Conrad wouldn't allow Yuuri to bring about his own destruction, and especially at the cause of him. The boy wasn't even _thinking_ straight. The best way to end this was just to leave him, and go back to his office, forgetting he had ever tried this at all.

"I'm sorry, your Majesty. You should be sleeping."

Conrad pretended to not see Yuuri's devastated face and turned away, eying the exit, hoping nothing would stop him. He felt himself almost break out into a run, yet he was only a step away from the door. His hand laid across the gold handle and he nearly pushed himself through, almost tasting the solitude air of his office, of the rest of his future alone-

"Conrad Weller!"

His whole body froze and he hesitantly looked at Yuuri, whose face was taught with despair and apprehension. He feared what might come out of his King's mouth. He should have run for it, given up his horrible trait of always staying when Yuuri called out to him. Now he was stuck, waiting, hoping that some way nothing would come to ruin this fragile hesitancy. At the same time he felt the urge to take, to love. He could almost see those emotional ties weaken and rip with every passing moment he lied to himself. He could feel Yuuri's hope and he tried to immediately extinguish it, to let it die.

Yuuri froze, his eyes staying miraculously dry, and he demanded of Conrad for the first time in his life.

"Tell me you don't love me."

Silence.

Conrad simply refused to believe it, and sharp walls went around his emotions. Nothing slipped. Nothing cracked through his frame, his soldier-like vice. He looked away, turning and making the door open, silently looking towards the floor.

It had to end, and it had to end here. And of all the terrible things he had ever done in his life, he felt this one plunge through his abdomen and spread over his chest with the most deadly accuracy. It became a cancer, and out of all of the good things Conrad had felt, he knew he was giving them all away for this. Such sweet words were hidden under that demand, such things that Conrad had only hoped to hear in his sleeping hours. But this _end _had to be better than any future that would plague Yuuri. _This_ had to be the only way, the only way out of his misery.

The only way to let Yuuri go. For he was never his to begin with.

"I don't love you, Yuuri." He said. He ignored the fire on his lips and the way his lungs screamed.

And the young Maoh said nothing, and Conrad left, leaving Yuuri behind- abandoned.

___________________

Don't worry, it doesn't end here everyone. :)

Again, I can't believe that this fic is being received so well! 866 hits!! I'm so amazed! Thank you so much to all of my readers...

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So please, even anonymous reviewers, don't hesistate to review! I welcome any ideas and whatnot! Thank you so much everyone!


	4. Following Up

It was absolutely horrible the way things continued from there.

Yuuri chose a bride by the end of the third day, and had circled her name on the list in red ink. Gunter had accepted the choice, failing in hiding his emotions. He could tell Yuuri had probably just closed his eyes and circled one. It bothered the tutor more than he let on, and his cries were heard throughout the castle. The other inhabitants of the place were eerily quiet, and it seemed that any happiness that had existed there simply had died away. No baseball games. No humming coming down the hallway from their king. The depression blanketed, and as a strictly government wedding was planned, Conrad began to notice that the whole castle was meek, cold and apathetic.

What didn't seem to change was Conrad's guilt.

Regardless of how many times he convinced himself that he was in the right, dreams and horrible situations that had never even happened haunted and dissuaded him. He saw Yuuri depressingly tied to random noble women in those dreams. He saw him never happy again, alone- and something in him wondered if it was just the guilt he was feeling, or the desperate voice inside him telling him he had made all the wrong choices. With such vividness, he was beginning to struggle more and more with second-guessing himself. But on nights such as those, a final dream would include a very sensuous favorite of his, and he would remember why all of this was wrong, and he would return to his self once sun broke.

But even with these alluring images constantly visiting him, and even with strong held hopes of the requited, it didn't matter. He had distanced himself once, and had succeeded in completely cutting Yuuri off his mind, so he could do it again. He could strip his bonds to the king like before, and forget the night that had forced them to face each other. He could act like it had never even happened.

He wouldn't deny that this was going against his psyche, and the very nature of his situations wouldn't allow him to tuck things away like he did before. In the three days that ate at him after that night, he hadn't seen Yuuri. _Once. _Yet the mere disappearance hadn't worried him. What _had _worried him was the fact that _he_ couldn't find Yuuri. Perhaps he was tricking himself, but he could have sworn that his charge was playing hard to get now. It always seemed that, if Conrad entered the kitchen inquiring of Yuuri, someone would tell him, "Oh. You just missed him," or "He left a second ago." Their eyes would shy away, wary, holding something back. So…

Yuuri was avoiding him, and the whole castle was in on it, if he was so easily getting away at the last second each time. That, or Yuuri had a sixth sense that Conrad hadn't known about.

In struggling with this, Conrad began to hover around his older brother as he was so fond of while young, hoping his confidence would stride along something inside him and make himself get a grip. But he found no comfort in Gwendal, who always seemed to have a solidity about him that Conrad was lacking now. Once, he even attempted to go through Gwendal to see if him and his wrinkles had any knowledge of Yuuri's strange actions, but when he asked, he merely stared at him with strange eyes.

"There's no problem. Whatever you said to him worked, and he's picked a bride happily."

Conrad took that with a smile and decided that Gwendal was no help.

But to so easily pick a bride, after a (confused) somewhat confession?

_What?_

If Conrad thought reeling to get his feelings for Yuuri under control was bad, this was much, _much _worse.

He stood in the hallway between Gwendal's and Wolfram's painting offices, crossing his arms. None of this had made any sense. He found himself trying to solve his problems in the same spot as last week, and more maids quietly walked by him, trying their luck with glances before he uncharacteristically glared at them. They hushed away down the corridor, and Conrad went back to staring at a very interesting spot in the floor, as if it might help him out, yet one explanation was already obvious.

Yuuri had given up.

Whatever adolescent lust had been within him a few days before, it was gone now. Whatever he saw in Conrad had probably passed and didn't bother him anymore. Maybe he had even embraced the fact that he _had _to get married, for whatever reason, and had thought that avoiding his guardian would have made it easier, publicly, for the both of them. Besides, Conrad did admit he was acting rashly for some reason, and that wouldn't do. Not in front of Gwendal or Wolfram.

And _that _was a problem in itself. He hadn't realized it till recently, but he was acting like a high strung woman. _Everything _was annoying him. Wolfram's tangents on Yuuri's new engagements almost made him snap, which used to be entirely controllable, even if Yuuri wasn't there, artfully side stepping dinner while eating in his room. A single glance of an appreciative maid made him groan in disapproval. Mentions of anything that brought Yuuri to mind made him worry relentlessly. The fact that Gunter had showed the list and who Yuuri had picked straight to his face made him cringe. He didn't even know the girl's name, and frankly, didn't care to.

Now, he didn't consider himself an overly jealous man. He did, however, consider himself a man capable of making decisions that were the better for his king. Not necessarily for himself, yet in the end, better for the most of them. So why he had become so agitated with a decision that was clearly positive, he didn't know.

But here, alone in his thoughts, it was so easy to have everything seep out and dominate. He was confident in his choice- he was positive- _so why couldn't he let it go?_

He couldn't ignore the desire to pick up Yuuri and just make a run for it, and he certainly couldn't purge the undying appetite he had for Yuuri's touch, or voice. Even the steel-like determination he had with his decisions were minuscule compared to the radiance of his more personal wants. He was still weak when it came to Yuuri, still weak enough to completely destroy anything good heading his way, and so all over again, he began justifying his choices for the umpteenth time.

He still was staring at the spot on the floor, worrying again. He could almost hear his mother teasing him on the wrinkles he would get from it, and how they would probably look exactly like Gwendal's.

He practically decided that he was being pathetic, standing here in broad daylight looking distraught. He could go do something to get things off his mind, and get back to his old self, with some fresh air. He could do whatever it took, (and oh how difficult that would be) to get Yuuri off of his mind. He could just…

Conrad didn't even jump when a figure suddenly showed up in the hallway. He didn't have to even look directly- he could tell peripherally by the walk that it was Wolfram, strutting past the vases and wall hangings. Thoughts were immediately abandoned, and he already felt guilty just _thinking _of Yuuri. He would have left with that notion, would have bounded out for that fresh air he was hoping for, if he hadn't made accidental eye contact with his younger brother.

The blond stopped in front of him respectfully, not really bowing, but nodding his head all the same.

"Evening."

His voice was a little wavering, and Conrad could tell he was distraught. He just hoped to God it had nothing to do with Yuuri.

"How are you, Wolfram?"

Conrad laced guilt behind his tongue and held it there. His blood rushed to his chest, and he let it rest, leaving no open spaces between himself and his brother. If a single thing escaped, Wolfram would know all of the underlying meanings of _everything, _so he only said what was necessary. And the only things that were necessary were short, few worded sentences.

"I'm heading towards the meeting hall. Perhaps you would agree to join me?"

That _did _surprise Conrad.

He blinked once, but not enough to appear caught off guard, and looked down at Wolfram. Wolfram, who had suddenly just spoken in a way that none thought possible. Either he was distracting himself by trying to get over Yuuri, or he had grown mature overnight.

"Meeting hall?" He asked, happy to talk of anything other than the king.

"Yes. The court is here, to ready preparations for the wedding."

Conrad winced inwardly. He should have known that every conversation would round-a-bout to Yuuri. He didn't know whether he wanted to go, or just skip socializing all together. But his heart nagged at him silently. Wolfram was still upset. And worst of all, the cancelled engagement had probably come from Yuuri's hormonal confusion, which ended up being solely Conrad's fault. So, strictly speaking, his younger brother was bruised, because of him. Because of his complete lack of self preservation. He couldn't help but be close to Yuuri then, but with things going the way they were now, he thought he might toughen his exterior and start over with Wolfram.

"I'd be happy to go-"

"Ah! Wolfram! There you are."

Conrad's skin tightened as Yuuri bounded across the hallway. He pulled his pleasant face into a solemn one, adjusting himself for the impact. Besides, he had readied himself for this. He could stand up to the very person who was plaguing him. It didn't matter that Yuuri had just _happened _to show up at the worst possible time. He could still stand up to that face, those looks, just like anyone else could. But his body didn't seem to feel that way, what with trying to shrink behind Wolfram's frame.

Wolfram turned politely to see Yuuri a couple feet away from him, smiling. Yuuri waved and spoke up.

"I had to go to the meeting too, well obviously- I was just looking for an escort-"

He stopped, and Conrad cursed quietly enough that no one heard him.

"Oh. I didn't see you there, Conrad."

Instinctively, Conrad moved a bit out of the way to smile and nod at Yuuri, but still managed not to see his eyes. He had bowed, perhaps a bit too much, and suddenly he was self conscious. Wolfram's eyes gazed on him a bit, and looked back to Yuuri with the same dull-eyed look about him.

"Of course."

There was a void of emotion in him as he started to walk away. Yuuri jumped to catch up, half skipping to try and get next to Wolfram, and Conrad was taken aback at the sudden change of character. That night, in Yuuri's room- he had been nothing short of desperate and admiring. Now it was like Conrad didn't even exist.

Surprisingly, Wolfram paused and stared at Yuuri, then at Conrad.

"I have to tell the court you'll be appearing. I'll be back to escort you, Your Majesty."

Yuuri was too stunned by the informality to stop Wolfram as he walked out of the hallway and out of sight. He lingered there for a moment, his eyes vacuous and confused at the same time. In some strange way, he looked captivating, and Conrad had to look away from his pained look.

It was then he finally calculated that he was alone, with Yuuri, again.

He didn't even have time to spout an excuse when Yuuri looked at him, saying nothing, yet gazing at him from the side. Conrad almost thought it was a divertive look, but his eyes stayed on him, merciless.

"Were you called to the meeting?"

Conrad noticed Yuuri's words plainly avoiding his name.

"No."

Silence went over them again, and Conrad chanced a look at Yuuri. In that instance, a very strange look of determination crossed over Yuuri's features, and that familiar urge to wait on Yuuri flooded Conrad's eyelids. He still had the same protective farce, but all in the same, he had the truthfulness of how he used to be around his king, and he honestly wanted to know what Yuuri would do next. He was known to do well in the face of adversary, and marriage certainly accounted for that.

In the end, Conrad still wanted to be there. He still wanted to see Yuuri become what he was heading towards, regardless of his selfish notions. He at least thought he was a suitable protector, and he gave himself the freedom of enjoying the thought of being able to see Yuuri from a distance for as long as he was alive.

Unfortunately, Yuuri glanced at him then, and the deep look of longing still lanced across Conrad's irises. He saw it, no doubt, and had a reaction Conrad wasn't expecting.

His obsidian eyes flashed with anger and he turned away, abruptly, unconsciously grabbing at his collarbone, but Conrad was behind him from reflex.

Yuuri was fast, but Conrad could keep up, if not pass him, and he followed him, eyes scanning for a sign of opening. He didn't even know why he was doing it, but he certainly didn't want Yuuri angry with him. He convinced himself it had nothing to do with the days before. He convinced himself that he still had that closeness with Yuuri, that he could get him to stop, and listen to him. Even with all of his evasions of the boy, he couldn't allow himself to watch Yuuri fall into contempt. He couldn't. After all, Yuuri would grow out of this, these confused feelings he was having-

"What do you want?"

Yuuri's voice was woven with some sort of anger between livid and chastising, and Conrad spoke quickly to keep up with his ranging emotions.

"Have I upset you, Your Majesty?"

Conrad knew the answer already. He wasn't stupid. Yet he might just be, considering how angry that question made Yuuri. The king didn't slow down at all. He swerved a corner, and Conrad was surprised they hadn't caught up with Wolfram. Before he could allow that to happen, he had to settle things, so Yuuri could properly forget about this whole thing. That could at least be the last thing he could give him.

He reached out his hand to grab Yuuri by the shoulder, but the youth swerved around and faced him, almost causing Conrad to run into him. His eyes were the same, angry, and desperate.

He didn't say anything for a moment, but his face was expectant as he glared at Conrad.

"Your Majesty-"

"I need an explanation."

Conrad was caught off guard by that.

"I need to know what you're thinking. I need to know why this is happening."

Yuuri's lips clenched and he was soon chewing on his bottom lip, one hand in a fist. His eyes quickly flashed, pleading, and Conrad could have sworn he saw him tear up.

But he still couldn't do it. He had practiced his poker face for so long that he couldn't even tell he was doing it. He couldn't even feel the terrible stomach drop he normally received when Yuuri was in pain. The prolonged absence he was forcing himself through had practically made him immune.

"The court-"

"We both know that's not the problem."

Conrad had been _trying_ to say they should leave with that, and Yuuri had read, truthfully, through his illusion. His nerves clenched, and he silently panicked. He had thought that giving up Yuuri would only hurt him once, and that it would be easy, and yet here he was again, denying Yuuri the comfort he was seeking. He couldn't even give him an answer. Had he given in, told him the truth, or gave him any inkling of hope- it would be over. Yuuri would become stubborn to the point of death, he knew that well, and so he couldn't let anything give him the slightest idea of them… being… together, as it were. He wouldn't allow Yuuri's body to think he loved him.

He looked down at Yuuri, torn, thinking of a way to completely end this. This… this sort of affair had to end. He had to kill all the feelings off, and he couldn't hesitate, not like he did that night.

He didn't even stand a chance.

Yuuri was leaning up to him, grabbing on his collar before he could do anything at all. His former resolve fell in the background for a moment, his eyes seeing Yuuri's close, his mind not believing it, not sure what to make of it-

It was the ghost of a beginning kiss that made Conrad grab Yuuri's shoulders and half-forcefully push him away from his chest, fearing his own dissolve. Everything was melting- something had awakened all those hushed desires he had, and Yuuri hadn't even fully pressed his lips to him. The view of the youth desperately trying to reach Conrad's face had been too much, and he breathed in relief when he realized Yuuri hadn't yet claimed his goal.

He knew he was holding onto Yuuri's shoulders rather tightly, but he wasn't as afraid of hurting him as he used to be. He was staring at him, his visage disbelieving, young and ethereal, and Conrad couldn't do anything to hide the desire arousing in his eyes.

He breathed and tried to be convincing.

"We can't-"

Yuuri's dumbfounded look from being pushed away turned immediately into anger. He ripped his shoulders away from Conrad and held his shirt, unconsciously fixing the wrinkles that had sewn there.

"You…"

He was breathing from anger, and Conrad watched helplessly, not able to run away anymore. He vaguely remembered Gwendal telling him to get this over with. It was much easier said then done.

"What the hell is this…" Yuuri was speaking under his breath, and Conrad had to quiet his own lungs in order to hear the frail words. "What… why aren't you…"

Conrad didn't dare cave. Yuuri's eyes were only slightly misted over, but even with that, he convinced himself he was heartless enough to ignore it.

"I'm not Julia but…"

"That's not it."

Yuuri's face shot up and Conrad threw his hand to his face, mortified. He had slipped. _Slipped, _for God's sake. And Yuuri was latching onto it, quick, milking it for what it was worth, hands desperately trying to pull away Conrad's palm from his protector's face.

"If it's my age, I swear-"

"No-"

"My rashness, I can-"

"No-"

Yuuri's hands were insistent, his fingers wrapping around Conrad's, fiercely pulling them away.

"Conrad, if there's anything I can change-"

"No!"

Conrad finally snapped, his palms forcefully upon Yuuri's shoulders again, with enough force to successfully push him towards the wall, his solid frustration very evident in his voice. Everything that had been storing for days flooded over his better judgment, choking it, and wasn't caring about the consequences. He could feel the resolve he had had on quitting his feelings with Yuuri slip beneath his fingers, gone, and resurging with a frustration that could only be blamed upon himself. Yuuri, his king, his charge, had literally thrown him off the edge, his very touch forcing him to regrettably push his delicate frame away from him.

He waited for guards to come running, for Wolfram to turn the corner, but the boy before him showed no sign of such worries at all. Yuuri seemed stunned by the sudden aggression, but he simply gripped Conrad's shirt instead, feeling his soldier's fingers clamp around his clothes, shaking his head furiously. "Conrad, can't you just listen to me-"

"Listen to _me_, Yuuri. You don't know the difference. You look at me as if-"

"As if I love you!"

His voice had shrilled over the very agitation pulsing in Conrad's ears, over the tight clench of muscles under his fingers. He didn't even try to hide the shock on his face. Yuuri's eyes demanded of him.

"Why is this so hard for you to accept?"

Yuuri's voice and eyebrows riveted in anguish, silently, his breath heavy with exertion. Even so, Conrad's fingers never wavered, and he didn't feel the numbness that normally accompanied words he had dreamed about. He flared a bit, stepping closer to Yuuri, if that was possible.

"You don't even know what lust could possibly be Yuuri, let alone love-"

"I'm perfectly aware of both. I'm nineteen."

His declaration had almost sounded final if Conrad had not been throbbing with disquiet. He held onto Yuuri for fear of giving in, or taking. He almost wanted to believe in what he was saying. He was already hovering above the delicate frame of something he had wanted to touch for so long, and Yuuri's words and desires weren't helping him douse that certain pooling heat in his stomach.

"Inappropriate doesn't even begin to describe-"

Yuuri grabbed Conrad's wrist, stopping him mid sentence.

"I don't care."

And with that Yuuri's lips were at his again, already opened, willing and eager, a small fragrance of something sweet antagonizing Conrad's senses. The very desperateness hovered on Yuuri's mouth, enticing him, and finally, without a fraction of a moment, they were sliding against him. His vision whitened for a second, framing Yuuri's cheek, and with everything in fluid motion, he reluctantly, unwillingly, _caved._

________________

Sorry this took awhile, and sorry I had to leave it here! The next chapter would have made this one too long, but don't worry, it's basically done. I'm just going through last minute checkups. I'll be posting it soon.

I hope you like the bit of fan service here. I thought you guys might be running dry! :) We'll see if everything will end up being as happy as we think it will though...

Thank so much for all of my readers, every single one of you, and to everyone who added me to updates or favorite lists!

A special thanks to; crsq, Aigle, Rodick, Miss Plague, sweetsally, Vanimelde, aida135, Raven Cactuar, Stregian, Gaelic Lover, dreamerswaking, LittleLinor, SilverWhiteDragon, amy,tTakara94, Nezumi Nanashi, yume-m, sayuri2023, Ironically Yours, Krylancelo, skatergurljubulee, Serii-pyon, Stoic-Genius, and Shippygirl!

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Don't hesitate to drop by and mail more ideas or thoughts! I absolutely love them all!


	5. The Inevitable Wound

His lips burned wildly, on edge, feeling the heat of the touch sear his nerves. It was unlike anything he thought it might be- but then again, he might have visualized something like this- he was too swept to remember if he had or not.

His eyes unwillingly closed. Yuuri was overbearingly hot, blazing, and his mind went slack- it was much too difficult to focus on _why _or _how _he was suddenly in such bliss, and he forgot how to make sense of things. He couldn't even remember why he shouldn't be doing this, or even what he _was _doing. When was the last time he had ever been touched like this anyway? When had he ever experienced something so deeply and physically indelible?

His scars suddenly screamed when Yuuri's hand ghosted over his shirt cloth, barely stimulating them, and he decided that nothing, no matter what intensity of feeling, no matter what he could or couldn't remember, was equal to this.

Yuuri's breath flew from his small lips, a taste of certainty upon them, something rash and delicious, and Conrad immediately opened and refocused his eyes, panicking.

In the middle of the hallway- alone- inappropriate-

Conrad almost ran away when he realized that he didn't care anymore.

Yuuri seemed to jump at that, feeding off his uncertainty, letting a groan slip as he desperately tried to persuade Conrad's lips to _move. _A tentative moist touch, even hotter than his mouth, pressing- the soldier faltered, barely pulling away, feeling the wetness at his lips, eying the panting and rose colored face of the boy beneath him. His lower body surged with concentrated heat at the sight, pleading to be satisfied, messing with his head. Yuuri was still so close, gasping, grabbing, still holding onto Conrad's jacket...

It was then that Conrad realized that he could _never _get away from him. He _couldn't _sear him off like nothing was between them. It was there, pulsing, pulling him- and the acknowledgement of that would make it all the worse when...

"Stop." Yuuri was pulling him down, scanning Conrad's face, beseeching his worries.

"I know that look, and I hate it."

Yuuri was suddenly grabbing onto Conrad's shirt with both hands, using Conrad's shock to his advantage, forcing him out of view from the main hallway and down a smaller corridor.

Conrad would have sighed with relief, if it wasn't for the antagonizing pressure in his slacks, or the knowing pain that this exquisite memory would have to be killed off.

The soldier expertly looked down the hallway on instinct, making sure no one was there. Then he wondered why in his right _mind _he wasn't stopping this in its tracks...

He looked furtively at Yuuri's obsidian eyes, horrified, because he knew he had awakened something Yuuri had been dying for. The immediate kiss, only for physical pleasure...

Conrad shuddered when he realized he must be using his King, artfully taking what he could while they could still be hidden. He was doing it so well, he was even hiding it from his own conscience. That was the only explanation for this going so far. It was so wrong in so many ways, and he felt himself get sick...

"You're doing it again."

Yuuri was gripping the soldier's elbow, and turned it to face him, glaring at his worried brows. He lifted one of Conrad's hands, and delicately placed it on his much smaller cheek, a face of determination on him all the while.

Conrad's fingers tightened as he felt the softness of his skin, and he brought it away immediately, hovering next to Yuuri's face, mentally shaking his head. It was much too like his dreams that it nerved him. Yuuri, giving himself, without question, without even a moment of hesitation. Exposed, easily breakable, _pleading_-

He was breathing out a "Yuuri..." without thinking- a plead, an apology- and he was so close to the King's face that the boy read it as an advance, lurched forward again, and made sure his soldier's lips were caught in surprise.

All those feelings of electricity engaged him again, and he shut his eyes from the onslaught of sensation, not able to keep his walls up any longer. He could feel the resistance pulse in him, but he was too busy enjoying this last stolen pleasure, this sinful delicacy he was reaping. It was a horrible display of loyalty as he allowed himself to be dragged closer to the wall, finally pushing the small body _correctly_ against the cold slab of marble, not caring who was there, or what he would have to deal with later... If he was going down in the end, well, he'd let himself delve into his ridiculous desires before he failed.

It only took a few minutes more for him to respond to Yuuri's presses and urgency- he was reaching his own lips around Yuuri's mouth in what seemed like seconds, guilt almost reaching in his throat, ignoring the vivid images of what horrible things would happen after they were done.

He swore over and over again that this would be the last selfish act he would ever commit in his existence. He could try and stop this early, to let the memory be only a brief touch...

Yet the taste was exceedingly difficult to stop from drinking in, reveling in. He could almost make out the flavor of summer grass and heat, the refreshing feel of cool breezes and everything else that was Yuuri. He hadn't meant to, but his hand disobeyed him, and grabbed the back of the young man's head, hoping to wrap his tongue around the oppressive flavors and fence them in. He couldn't name all of them and it was driving him crazy.

Yuuri winced when his back hit the wall rather forcefully, but he took it in stride, vaguely surprised at the sudden surge of aggressiveness Conrad was exuding.

The solider had barely noticed their movement, had barely noticed the moment he finally decided to let his tongue seam between Yuuri's ever-eager lips, and he pushed- not bothering to ask for permission this time.

Yuuri _moaned _at the feeling, and Conrad heard it quite well, grasping at the raven-feather tendrils in his fingers. The voice was almost an octave lower then he had envisioned, and he had to inhale to capture the essence of Yuuri's voice pleading to him, lock it in his memory, stitch it to his mind like an omniscient ghost of a touch... It would be over too soon.

But it was too hard to stop it himself. He _couldn't _stop. Everything he hadn't bothered to think about in his dreams was assaulting his senses- the addictiveness of Yuuri's voice, his certain but tentative touch, his earnest need-

Suddenly, the sensations stopped, and Yuuri was pushing him off, quietly breaking his moist lips away, fixing his black hair, looking down at his feet.

Conrad felt his heart surge with rejection, pained but deserving-

Then he heard them. Light footsteps, from the other hallway, briskly walking through.

He was instantly amazed at how Yuuri had managed to drug him enough to not hear something before he did.

He cursed aloud, not caring anymore, and re-buttoned his shirt. There was no way he could make himself look presentable. He could almost see his own gleamed-over eyes, tousled hair and lips-

The steps got louder for a moment, and Conrad looked at Yuuri, who never stood a chance. His lips were too red, matching his whole face, even his neck flushed-

The last step paused, and Conrad could already see the judgment waiting for him for taking something so innocent-

But the steps never came, and continued on, and Yuuri eventually stopped trying to fix his hair.

"They'll be down here soon enough." Yuuri said, breaking between words, trying to catch his breath, looking down to now fix his horribly wrinkly shirt. "The meeting. They'll be looking for me."

It was like a sack of bricks had just been thrown at his stomach. Everything rushed into place, reminding him why all of this was so utterly fallacious.

"The meeting-"

"Yes, I'm meeting the court for wedding plans."

Conrad paused for only a moment of silence, then grabbed Yuuri's elbow, forcing him to look up.

"What do you intend to do?"

His voice came out harsher then intended, but he wasn't used to being so panicked. He wasn't used to worrying to the point of death. He was scared, already visualizing the pieces falling together resulting from his actions. This time had been it. This was the one thing that Yuuri needed to become stubborn. He wasn't even sure why he didn't want to hear Yuuri's answer. He didn't know if it was fear of Yuuri refusing to go through with his plans because of him, or if he was actually going to leave him after all...

"I intend to please the court."

Conrad sighed in tangible relief, but bit the bile back behind his lungs. So. Alone, for eternity-

"They want me to have a partner, they'll get one."

Conrad's eyes widened, thrown off. _Partner?_

"What are you talking about?!" Conrad snarled, too gone to worry about the effect of his angers on his king. "None of this means anything will happen. You have a wedding-"

"And I told you, I don't care."

Yuuri's eyes had changed from attentive to angered, the same fire as before lighting them. Conrad felt sick to his stomach as he realized that, yes, he had set himself up.

"You think I can run off and get married now?"

"Yes, I do."

They stared each other down for a moment.

"Right. Then what was all that, then?"

Yuuri motioned between them, intimidating in all his glory; impulsive and young. Conrad faltered, a fatal step, and didn't even get to defend himself.

"Mistake me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure that that was _your _mouth mov-"

Conrad's glare made Yuuri stop in his tracks.

He would not, _ever, _let this mistake slide. If anything, he finally took what he had been craving, and hell, Yuuri had too! That was all either of them wanted, right? Then if he had to argue to-

He stopped then, in the middle of glaring at Yuuri, frightened at the image he must have been showing him. He was losing his patience with the boy, completely uncharacteristically, and was irrationally worrying if... if somehow, this would end up making his King hate him.

"I can't believe this is our first argument."

Yuuri was murmuring again, suddenly brisking Conrad off his arm, and heatedly turning away from him.

Conrad abruptly stopped him, grabbing his shoulder, forcefully grabbing his attention. He was more than sure now that the boy's shoulders wouldn't break if he grabbed them.

"And it's our last argument. I can't tell if you're satisfied yet, but this has gone on long enough-"

Yuuri guffawed at Conrad's statement, taking the soldier aback, bulging his eyes in disbelief.

"Satisfied? Did you think this was some kind of hormonal driven free-for-all?"

Conrad faltered yet again, letting his shoulder go. Yuuri had no clue how right he was.

"I told you, Conrad. I told you that I- well, I indirectly asked you... and sort of-"

Yuuri's aggressiveness had finally slipped. Conrad jumped at that with all the willingness he had left, grabbing Yuuri's elbow and swerving him around. His boots tapped heavily in the hallway as he moved Yuuri passed the windows.

"What are you doing?!" Yuuri yelped, not turning away, yet not willingly walking along either.

"I'm taking you to the meeting, Yuuri. I'm not letting myself poison you anymore."

Yuuri stopped dead in his tracks. Conrad didn't bother to move him, aware that the words would seep in, and Yuuri would finally accept them, having already taken the kisses he wanted-

"Wait."

Something in the way Yuuri said that made Conrad want to run.

"You..."

A snort came from behind him and he turned to look at Yuuri expectantly, slightly ruffled, almost demanding to know what was so funny about losing the love of his life and wants and-

Yuuri was laughing now, trying to hide it behind a closed fist, his eyes shimmering at Conrad. This was the only time that Conrad was utterly confused.

"Ha!" Yuuri grabbed his stomach. "Josak _was _right! To think I even...ha-...doubted him...!"

Conrad straightened, peering his eyes towards Yuuri, yet not necessarily at _him. _

Yuuri was still laughing, and wiping tears, grabbing onto Conrad's sleeve, almost soothing him.

"Josak..." Conrad inquired, menacing.

Yuuri took a moment to stop laughing, and he sighed, catching his breath.

"He must know you better than I do. I don't know if I should be jealous or..."

Yuuri trailed off, snickering a bit, easily open. Conrad didn't let it trick him.

"You... you honestly think you're hurting me, by loving me."

Yuuri's laughter had stopped immediately, and something in the way his eyes shone reminded Conrad vaguely of his mother, or perhaps Julia. Those eyes that were condescending, yet encouraging, acknowledging.

At this point, he didn't see any reason to lie to him. Those words had been so right, so true, that he thought it even more of a sin to deny that then easily accept it. Yuuri had already broken him, forced feelings out of him such as these, and he thought that he might as well give in, if not just for today... Tomorrow, things would be exactly the same, and nothing he could say now would change that.

"I'm not sure what Josak told you."

Yuuri gazed at him, gripping his elbow again.

"But even with you saying that, you're not denying anything."

Conrad pined at Yuuri's expression, unsure of how to advance. "I'm not denying anything because there's nothing to deny. And I'm not confessing anything because nothing in me is for any good."

He wondered how his voice wasn't wavering, or how the words were just coming to him, like he had practiced them for months. Yuuri didn't move much at his proclamation, and stood there, gripping his elbow with a different intensity this time.

"Would it be so bad, just to take something for yourself? Just this once?"

Yuuri bit his lip, pleading again.

And Conrad was miraculously considering it, hoping that something would strike him down now, to save him from the unbearable decision wearing at him.

He had wondered what it might be like, to wake up, and not worry about restraining himself for the rest of the day. Or what it might be like to not have to roll with immediate jealousy at his younger brother's touches upon their King. He had pondered, countless times, that it wouldn't be all _that _hard to court Yuuri, to win him over fair and square. To somehow possess him, have him as his own, and what happiness that might bring him...

But the truth was, he was scared. Undeniably scared. He didn't want to make Yuuri his life, (well, he supposed it was too late for that.) and then lose him all over again. He didn't want to kill Wolfram's heart, and feel the amazing guilt of claiming somebody's love and soul twice in a life time. He was scared that _love _would make him irrational, would make him lose- if not one half a second- to an opponent; just the right amount of time to hack through and slit a throat of someone he loved.

And in the end, it would never be worth it. Yuuri's _life,_ worth any sacrifice, was more highly valued to him then his own selfish _needs_. He wouldn't dilute his performance, wouldn't hinder Yuuri's advancement- and he supposed he knew all that, months ago. This kiss, this sudden advancement... it had done nothing.

Conrad silently lifted Yuuri's hand away from his sharp elbow, and laid it at the King's side, gazing down at him. The boy was fidgeting now, waiting, worried.

"Your Majesty..."

That gorgeous face fell into pieces.

"As I .. was saying. You've chosen a wonderful bride, and you have a wonderful kingdom..."

Yuuri's eyes immediately glistened over.

"You have anything and everything you could ever need-"

"But I have nothing that I want." Yuuri interrupted.

His eyes were hidden, and his voice had cracked from the rising tears.

"Do you- are you honestly saying this?"

He was begging, a high note of desperateness taking over.

"You want me to rule the kingdom, you want me to get married, you kiss me-"

Yuuri was almost hyperventilating, clinging to Conrad's shirt, close to ripping it. The way his head shook mimicked denial.

"If this is how it's really-" breaths, quick and ragged.

Conrad looked at him painfully, finally breathing in the air of the agony he had waited for all along. It would all be over soon. He could drop this weight, kill off his _own _heart, and remember the few precious moments before all of this came to a close.

"I don't understand anymore-" Yuuri hiccuped with tears, becoming frustrated at his own interruption. "I assumed wrong. I thought... I thought that this was-"

_It is. God, Yuuri, it is._

"I thought that this was something we could..."

He was finally crying. It poured from his cheeks, the familiar weakness shining in his face. The visage of determination fell- tiny little pieces of resolve followed. The Yuuri that Conrad had come to know and love finally showed, swelling with fragility.

Conrad opened his mouth, dying to calm him. The nurturing wanted to come, wanted to take over-

And he stopped it all. He watched his King cry in a quiet grip, and he reigned his feelings as the tears fell.

Wolfram showed within seconds, on cue, walking silently behind them. Conrad had heard the steps, and hadn't bothered to move. Yuuri was entirely something else, trying to look like he hadn't been sobbing, as he turned to face his ex-fiancé.

Conrad waited for the questions to stream from Wolfram's lips, but he was quiet as he nodded respectfully to the both of them. His eyes warily reached Conrad's, searching,and then they lit. As if they had found what they had been looking for. As if Wolfram may have been searching for some kind of guilt.

"Your Majesty, the court is waiting to receive you now."

The blond walked off then, and Yuuri was hovering, rubbing the tears and his cheeks into a convincing pastoral feature. The ease with which he did so reminded Conrad of a child recuperating over a quick tantrum.

He stopped tearing up, but didn't look at his soldier. His eyes were glued to the ground.

"At first, I thought... that maybe Josak was right. Or maybe even Murata. That I should just go for it... Maybe, they said, maybe things would be simple enough..."

Conrad waited patiently as Yuuri took in a deep breath. Ghosts of tears were still escaping him. It hurt more than he let on, watching his King flounder miserably.

"But... now, I can see... that you- that nothing I did could..."

The young man stopped, and it was obvious that any self control he had been aiming for was alluding him.

"I can't balance this anymore..."

That last sentence had so much pain in it, so much breaking, that Conrad could feel his stomach tear in two. He could see the final point in Yuuri's stance, the breath he drew. It was finally all over.

Yuuri looked up at him, and smiled a strange grin, completely ignoring the fact that his eyes were red from sadness.

"Please, excuse me."

And he turned, walked down the hallway, and entered the meeting room.

Conrad watched silently, and could scarcely remember one of the times he had been moved to tears. His chest swelled in that exact manner, the same promising anguish he was waiting for- but he looked away from the closing door Yuuri had opened, and turned away to go drown his sorrows out.

__________________

Many apologies for the wait guys... problems with computers, etc. Don't ask....

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this installment! It's definitely not over for these guys yet.

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I desperatley wanted to make this fic very stubborn, and I'm hoping to succeed with that. If your hope is running thin, don't worry! I'll be updating again soon!

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this...


	6. Whiskey

Conrad lay across a hay pile, watching the room spin just a _little_ bit, a bottle half full of whiskey in his right hand. He ignored the smell of horses, putrid in his nose, yet oh so familiar- and decided to concentrate on anything that managed to keep his attention for more than two minutes.

He was making amends with alcohol, and he found that the vulgar drink was welcoming him back with open arms.

He didn't care to think about all the bad memories that had become associated with the stinging taste of the whiskey in his throat, and he blocked out most of them with ease. His biggest problem was trying to get his _current_ situation drowned in the coarse amber liquid. And that, unfortunately, was proving to be overly difficult.

Before, he had found that his troubles- any kind, really- would easily fold in the intoxicant. Back when things were easier to deal with. Back when things could be simply defined, proper, and noble.

Now, he thought it was simply_ amazing_ that two _jugs_ of the horrible stuff hadn't erased one single thought, touch or memory within the past two _days._

It was still there. Everything was.

The outer rim of his left upper lip still slightly burned, where eager lips had been a bit lingering. Even with the sour scent wafting from his mouth, there was still a sense of underlying sweetness, of sugared breaths, of purely young, _bold _desires...

He swigged another gulp down, purposefully holding it on his tongue for an extra sting to punish his train of thought, drowning out any other flavor that had been there, and hoped to God that eventually he would get over the way his scars still throbbed from the touches.

He made for another swig once a very vivid image came to mind, one he'd rather not ponder on, and frowned when he realized there was nothing left. His eyes scanned the glass, hoping for something to appear, because he was almost sure that if he got up to get another serving, he'd end up face first in horse droppings.

Then again, he didn't want to be visited by any daydreams at the moment, so he began to lift himself up off the hay pile in search for more liquor.

He ignored the vague voice in him saying that maybe, just _maybe_, he was making himself look ridiculous.

He was almost standing up straight, (with much effort.) when a shape came in from the nearby window, and out of shock, he grabbed onto his scabbard at his side. With such a sudden movement, he nearly fell backwards, and he barely managed to keep himself up by balancing his right foot.

He didn't need to look to see who it was. Not by the presence, or even by a sixth sense- the man was just too loud, and spoke too fast anyway.

"I thought you'd be here, Commander."

At Josak's voice, Conrad let out his concentration and collapsed onto the hay heap again, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to pretend to hear the rant that would, no doubt, stream from the red head's lips.

There was that certain edge in his voice, the kind where nitpicking was just aching to start, and he knew all too well that once Josak started... he wouldn't stop. Vaguely he wished to be deaf for but ten minutes.

Josak didn't come completely in the barn, but draped himself across the windowsill, crossing his arms and gazing at the man helplessly seated on the ground. A bottle or two lay next to him, and he scoffed. Something in him was jealous that the brunet managed to still look decent, even while off his bottom drunk.

"Well, something must have happened. I mean, _whiskey_? I had my suspicions, what with the news, but..."

Josak was using his usual tactic. Say something undeniably interesting to the participant, let it linger... then don't tell. Conrad was hardly in the mood for playing cat and mouse.

He kept himself quiet, massaging away the headache that had marvelously presented itself.

Josak pouted, noticing how Conrad wasn't up to taking the bait, and readjusted his seating.

He was quiet, amazingly so, and Conrad chanced a look at his friend.

He was just sitting there, and the smug smile he was expecting wasn't present. But that made things all the more worse. He must be playing _serious_.

Now that Conrad was actually looking, he noted that Josak's clothes and hair were soaked, and was again amazed at how dulling whiskey could be if he couldn't hear the rain.

Josak looked at him then, pitifully, and reached over the windowsill for something.

"I figured you'd need this."

He was tossing the bottle over to Conrad, who, slightly off his rocker, couldn't quite catch the thing with his normal grace. He finally got it with two hands, balancing it, and quickly scanned the label. Good, fine aged whiskey. Probably three times stronger than the two bottles he already had put together.

"Thanks."

He was surprised there was no slur in his voice.

"Yah. Wouldn't have brought it had I known you already started."

They were silent then, Josak tapping his toe against the boards of the window, Conrad unscrewing the top of the jar and running his finger along the rim of it. He was currently hoping that, if he drank this much more, he wouldn't get up in the morning. Something else was hoping that Josak wouldn't ask questions.

"Kiddo told me what happened."

Conrad's fingers slipped and a few gulps of whiskey poured out beneath him, but he caught the bottle in time to save the glass.

He let a curse out, maybe more for being found out versus stupidly letting the precious drink escape him. He indistinctly pulled a cloth from the shelves behind him and attempted to wipe up the mess.

He was too frustrated to care about whose feelings he was hurting, and glared at his friend.

"If you're here for a reason, then out with it. Yes, I'm drunk. And yes, I'm aware of what happened. You don't need to tell me."

Conrad looked away and began rubbing his temples again, throwing the cloth off to the side, trying to erase the fact that everything seemed to be going wrong in all the right places. If he could, he'd forget the whole ordeal on his own, but he knew quite well that no amount of self perseverance was getting him out of this one. So it was either alcohol, or exile.

He took a drink of Josak's gift, because he knew the second one he was too cowardly for. It didn't matter if he was exaggerating.

Josak was studying him, silently for once in his life, nodding his head.

"Ah. So something did happen."

Conrad stopped mid-gulp, and glared at the conniving man, bottle neck still in mouth.

"Hey, you said it! Not me."

He gave up and let out a frustrated grimace, letting the bottle sit by his waist. It was almost _too _strong.

Josak jumped down from the window, squeaking from the rain as he went, and leaned against a pole that was meant for tying up horses.

"I thought maybe something was happening so I-"

"Enough."

Conrad was glaring at him before he could finish his sentence, deathly horrifying... but Josak was used to it. He knew how far he could push him these days.

"Fine. You don't wanna hear what happened to him? Fine."

He made to move out of the stable when Conrad groaned, unwillingly, defeated.

_That always works._

"All right then, I'll tell you. But only because you asked."

He leaned against the pole again and waited for Conrad to stop_ pretending _to have a headache. Even with downing two bottles of whiskey, he knew the man couldn't be entirely gone, or even ill. Sure, he was probably seeing the room spin like hell, but on the outside, his countenance was just as calm as ever. Josak could clearly remember how many mugs of alcohol it took before Conrad would spill, how many it would take to knock him out- the army was fun like that.

Josak grinned once his leader brought his attention to him, finally speaking up.

"What happened? Obviously not an emergency. You're having too much fun."

Josak cocked an eyebrow and kept his smile.

"Well, an emergency for _you_."

Conrad sharpened his gaze, simply _daring _Josak to take his time.

"Nothing much. Just that the plans for the wedding tomorrow _morning_ have been finalized."

For a moment, Conrad was tense, but before the chime of horrified wedding bells rang in his ears, he let the whiskey drown it out.

"Hardly an emergency."

Josak didn't say anything as Conrad set the jug down, almost disbelieving what he was hearing. Now he knew something definitelyhad happened.

Josak was scoffing again, attempting to persuade his commander to come out with it.

"Ah, well, nothing much must have happened with you two then, since you're so at peace, hm?"

Conrad ignored him.

"No one probably has the slightest clue about you still. Not even the kid."

Josak glanced at Conrad with one slightly opened eye, and noticed he was _still _ignoring him.

"I could always ask him instead-"

"Josak."

He would have jumped at the tone, if he wasn't so used to Conrad's bad moods.

"I can guess at what happened, if you'd like."

Conrad grunted in frustration, back to nurturing that ever present headache. In such a state, Josak's voice was almost ten fold as annoying as it usually was. He didn't want to deal with it. At all. He didn't want to hear his guesses, his accusations.

"Was it-"

"He kissed me."

Silence fell over them both, and Conrad finally decided that it was best not to drink for the night anymore. He closed his eyes and leaned against the rest of the hay, threw an arm over his eyes, and hoped to God that Josak would leave at that.

God wasn't so graceful with him, though.

"_What_?"

Conrad only lifted his arm enough to see the flames from the lantern flicker, and tried to chase away the darker feelings he had rising in his throat. He might be drunk, but it didn't make reminiscing any less painful. He wasn't even sure why he was just letting it escape him. He supposed it was partly due to the whiskey.

Josak uncrossed his arms and was staring at him, he knew, because he felt his gaze burn at his skin.

"Are you telling me that the kid _kissed _you?"

Conrad nodded.

"On the-"

Conrad nodded again, vaguely enjoying Josak's bewilderment.

"And you're just sitting in the stable because...?"

Conrad let his arm drop, and was staring ruthlessly back at his best friend. He knew his eyes didn't hold a friendly tone, but it didn't matter much anymore. He was gone with the alcohol. Gone with his own damn lonely thoughts. It almost felt good to speak to the redhead, no matter how much he was despising himself for it. No matter how much he was indulging in ridiculously selfish thoughts of pity. This was something he could take selfishly and not feel an ounce of guilt for.

"I'm in here because I kissed him back."

The whiskey sloshed a little in his head as he moved to sit up, wincing at the truth of his own words. It felt awkward to hear his mistakes out loud in sentences. He kept his eyes on Josak, scanning his surprised features.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Conrad nodded at that too, laughing, closing his eyes in disapproval of himself. "I thought you already knew I was."

"I thought you were just emotionally challenged."

Conrad scoffed again, one arm draped over a knee, the other at his forehead, balancing it. He almost laughed again to himself, and found he couldn't.

"What else?" Josak pried, not moving from his spot.

"Nothing. I was idiotic enough to let my feelings get the best of me, and that was it."

The familiar cynicism of years past was rolling off his tongue, lashing. He felt the young rebellious personality rev up- but it was just so easy what with Josak digging for answers again, whiskey burning on his tongue, and another love he couldn't have and couldn't take destroying his pride.

Josak was quiet, which was startling since Conrad had just given away such delicious black mail, and placed a hand on the windowsill. For a moment, rain was all that fell, and Conrad still couldn't hear it.

"You know..." He began, lingering. He glanced at Conrad and didn't care that he wasn't looking at him. "You know, I've seen this happen to you once before."

Conrad didn't move.

"I saw it happen, and I didn't say much."

Josak winced, almost hating to bring up the past with the man. He could feel his words sting, though Conrad showed no sign of it. He hadn't said or done anything at all.

Josak glanced at him again.

"You're fooling yourself."

Conrad lifted his head finally, grimacing. His bangs cast a slight shadow over his right eye, and the lamp still flickered consistently.

"This isn't as easy to deal with as you might think it is."

"What? Now that the two of you have said something, or before?"

"Both."

"Well, if you fall in love with a girl from the island*..."

It was Conrad's turn to scoff, and he turned from his friend, his wry face punctuated with a permanent look of regret. At times he had appreciated Josak's attempt to uplift things, but now... Now, he figured he just hated everything in life.

Josak just shook his head, walking towards the windowsill again, muttering. There was no point in trying to convince such a stubborn mind, and he wasn't going to waste his time trying. If Conrad was going to leisurely destroy his life, then he supposed what he could do to stop him had its limits.

"If you could see what I see,_ Captain,_you wouldn't be sitting here."

Conrad stood, wavering, clinking the bottle with his metal tipped boot. Josak was watching him miraculously steady himself, slightly surprised with the sudden vehemence.

Conrad, who had had enough of Josak's jests, let the room spin a bit more until he could finally refocus his vision. The whiskey was wearing off, he knew, because with each pound of his heart, he could hear drops of rain hit the ground from outside the stables.

He turned to Josak, who still managed to have a smirk on his face, even while somber.

"And what do you see? Tell me, because you can't be any more attentive to His Majesty than I am."

Josak knew he was right, and he knew he wasn't actually asking for an answer. In all the ways that could define such mindfulness, Conrad fit the bill, and was far more adept than anyone to notice the smallest things with Yuuri. But it wasn't so much that he paid attention. His interpretations were way off. His touches, glances, _anything _Yuuri had managed to let out, were simple gestures of kindness to Conrad's incredibly _dense _head.

He didn't say anything for a moment, and watched as Conrad stood there, delved into, no doubt, something amazingly dull witted, since ninety percent of the time his thoughts circled a certain king.

In contrast, Conrad was sighing out of frustration. He half expected Josak to have the answers. Something inside him was secretly hoping that Josak would have the right words, the right releasing, so the passing of letting Yuuri go would come much easier. Instead, he was making it incredibly extracting.

Josak was getting impatient with Conrad not saying anything.

"You want to know what I see then?"

Conrad didn't nod since he knew Josak would talk anyway.

"I see that the kid _loves _you."

If Conrad heard him, he didn't say anything.

"I see him struggling with you, and believe me, I can see well, Commander."

He knew Conrad wouldn't say anything. He knew he'd just sit there, staring at the wall, one hand on the side of his head, as if bracing himself for exasperation. He knew his head would be spinning with self doubt, running over the past years, when things could have gone _wrong, _and Josak was the only poor soul in the room to _know_ that they _hadn't._

A soft sludging from outside quickly alerted Josak's senses, and he shut himself up before continuing. For a moment, he was startled, but then the familiar heated steps eased his mind.

He looked at Conrad, only to consider stranding him.

Quickly he hopped over to where his Commander stood, deftly grabbing the bottles of whiskey still on the floor, ignoring Conrad's stares. He had no trouble holding all of them, his large arms encompassing their girth.

"I'd fix your shirt if I were you."

Those were the last words he uttered before making a beeline to the window. Conrad blinked at him, hazily rebuttoning the top two slots of his coat, not quite making sense of it in his head-

Josak showed up in the window one last time to stick his tongue out at him, and disappeared.

Conrad cursed, having it all come together. He could hear the footsteps now.

If he really wanted to, he could hop and make a run for his bedroom, out the exit Josak had took, crying sanctuary all the way. But he could guess how his drunken self would get over the windowsill.

He could just leave through the main entrance, pretending not to see anyone- better yet, he could make an excuse of taking out the horses for air-

It was raining. _Yes, I'm just taking the horses for a walk so they get sick, Your Majesty._

Conrad cursed, made sure his shirt was as tidy as it could get in his current state, grabbed the flickering lantern to have something for his fidgeting hands to grip, and reassessed the situation.

He had probably seven seconds to chose a course of action. And none of them seemed particularly inviting. The whiskey, though wearing, had that certain hold on him still, and chancing that- along with his withering resolve- just wasn't worth it.

It had only been a few hours since he had last seen him, and their argument, no doubt, would still be hanging between the air if he were to approach him again. However he would react, it couldn't be good- it would end up on either side of the spectrum, completely debauching. Complete anxiety, hurt- or complete anger. At this point, there was no in between.

Furthermore, he couldn't get it out of his head that perhaps Yuuri was _looking _for him. _Seeking _him out. For all he knew, Yuuri was bringing his new fiancé to the stables to woo her, or whatever else he was capable of, or seeking refuge from Gwendal and the others-

Conrad, suddenly aware of the increased volume of steps, realized with horror that he had been wrong about his seven precious seconds.

The large sliding stable door creaked, and a grunt was heard from the exertion of the boy who slid them open, and Conrad stood there dumbly, holding the lantern out and desperately hoping to cease existing on the spot. There wasn't anything he could do now, so he stitched his face into sincerity, and saw the gorgeous silhouette of a soaked Yuuri stumbling into the stable's quarters.

Somewhere in his heart, Conrad was pulsing with the same delicious vibe he received each time Yuuri came into view, but it was so second nature to him now that he expertly shut it away. His _eyes_ weren't so disciplined yet, and skillfully traced Yuuri's cheek, slightly worried at the amount of rain dripping from them.

Yuuri's eyes had no glimpse of surprise when he finally traced the lantern's light to Conrad's presence, as if he had expected to see him there, and hung, nervously, in the doorway, one hand on the beam that held the two doors together. No bottom lip was tucked in, and his features were placid; quiet.

Conrad, on routine, offered a slight smile and nod, walking closer to him to offer light, screaming at himself to back down, to give up and run, to just _stop. _But the careful way Yuuri gazed at him spoke mountains, and he was magnetically offering his assistance, wanting to cast light on those dark eyes dripping with wet lashes.

Yuuri took a step forward, slightly encouraged at Conrad's advance, yet no ghost of a smile flickered over his face. His hair clung to his cheekbones, tracing wet patterns across his skin, and if he was chilled by the rain, he showed no sign of it.

"Your Majesty," Conrad spoke, beating Yuuri to the first words, "You could catch cold from the rain."

Yuuri stopped moving forward as Conrad finally reached him, the small amount of candlelight showing that his eyes were just as black as any Maou's should be. His skin became pinker in the light and looked fresh, raindrops clinging to it, accents silvery and translucent.

Yuuri scanned Conrad's eyes for a moment, inviting even in his quiet.

Conrad was simply aching in the silence, part of him wanting a bed to let his blurry vision of whiskey and Yuuri go away, the other wanting to just forget and take and throw the lantern to the side and-

"I came to talk to you, about tomorrow."

Conrad nodded.

"About the wedding. If you could be in it."

He readied himself for a conversation he_ knew _wouldn't be easy.

__________________________________________________________________

*From Josak's character song "Vandarvia Ondo." Look up the lyrics, and you'll laugh, since it's obviously made to annoy Conrad. :)

For this chapter, I wanted a little more interaction with a character other than Yuuri or Conrad. Josak is ridiculously fun to write. But, I also wanted to keep the dramatic tone. I hope I succeeded with humbling Conrad in alcohol, yet keeping him in character. I think he's just as capable of being moody as anyone else. :)

Much amazing thanks to all of my avid readers! You all make me so happy when I receive your reviews. Those are the greatest gifts! They encourage me to continue writing and have always pushed me to do my best! Please continue to enjoy my story. An extra HEAPING thanks to; Rodick, bantal empuk, ., tezuka, Miss Plague, crsg, pheecat, rowbean, Krylancelo, gilithramaloce, PheonixShadow, Sea Queen, Vanimelde, Shippygirl, Nyx the Coyote Kit, Gaelic Lover, Le-Red-Knight, PerrythePlatypus, Tazzles, astiga0802, yume-m, l.h.o.o.q, Raven Cactuar, , Modest Truth, and Freakingcage7!!

Thank you so much for supporting me, you guys... I love you all!


	7. Season Tickets

Conrad suppressed what he knew was rising from the tingling in his stomach at the sight of Yuuri, completely soaked, waiting to continue his interesting interrogation. The feeling was notable, the want throbbed in his veins, and the water wasn't helping Yuuri's enhanced features dampen whatsoever. He's just as exquisite as when Conrad is sober and tentative, maybe even more so- his eyes blur around the edges and his king takes an ethereal charge around his skin.

For a moment he's stunned, and tries to comprehend what Yuuri's been saying, but he can't really catch his words and begins to loathe having so much intoxicant. His eyes sway a bit to Yuuri's jaw but he brings them back up on instinct.

"The wedding is tomorrow... which is kind of soon, but-"

He's saying something else, and Conrad finally discovers that there is no way in hell he's going to get through this. The way Yuuri's lips melt around his words make it all too difficult to register what is going on; the fluidity of his speech is completely missing, and if grammar ever existed, Conrad can't remember any of it.

Conrad suddenly felt all the more worse for not making a break out the window like Josak had.

For a second, thinking that it might block out Yuuri's face, Conrad closed his eyes, so briefly it's unnoticeable- and only finds Yuuri's voice creating mental images he can't get away from. He can feel the vibration of his tone against his chest, slightly deep yet still high in its boyish semblance. He's so aesthetic and _real_ that Conrad almost swears he's tipping at the weight of his words.

Yuuri moved forward a little bit, hesitant in his steps.

"Conrad? Are you _drunk_?"

Conrad knew he'd been caught, but something made him want to cover up the stupor he was in anyway and so he blinks, slowly, to emphasize attentiveness, _which he fails at,_ and shakes his head.

"No, Your Majesty, not particularly."

Yuuri raises a brow and cocks his head, looking for any signs of deterrence, but leaves it at that.

"Well, did you hear what I said?"

Conrad pauses, reluctantly giving in. He's never lied to him so blatantly before.

"No, I'm sorry."

Yuuri continued on like he already knew that answer had been coming. It didn't matter that he sounded slightly different, with a hint of cynicism on his tongue.

"Well I was talking about the wedding. For the preparations... Conrad. You're drunk."

The way Yuuri said it made Conrad's vision careen to one side, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been a mere hour ago. He refocused on Yuuri's face, barely nodding.

"Slightly, yes; perhaps if we could finish this conversation at another time-"

Yuuri's eyes flickered for a moment, catching Conrad's attention.

The small king was absolutely reticent as he gazed upon Conrad's features, finally noticing the bits of sweat clinging at browned bangs. He could suddenly tell that his guardian's eyes were just a pinch glazed, glassy and ever-anxious.

Yuuri stepped closer to him, and Conrad didn't even do a single thing to stop him. The boy's skin was supple with the rain, and if he wanted to get closer so Conrad could have a better look, well, than so be it.

Yuuri wasn't saying anything still, but Conrad was slightly grateful for that. Other than making him recognize the growing headache at his temples, the quiet was giving him more time to wordlessly gaze.

It was quiet, but it was back to that blessed agreeable quiet that they had always had before. It wasn't intrusive, nor ambitious. It just sat there, hovering, and Conrad swore that it was only due to the whiskey. Only moments ago, it seemed, was Yuuri turning from him, anger radiating off him in varying shades of intensity. He bit back the horrible swelling of missing his closeness with the boy.

Yuuri visibly shivered a little bit, breaking the string that had held their scrutiny, and in doing so earned Conrad's drunken concern.

"It's raining, Your Majesty."

Yuuri looked at him incredulously. "Yes, it is."

"I'm saying you could catch ill."

Yuuri crossed his arms and hunched a bit to hopefully generate warmth, appalled that their conversations had turned to _this. _

"You said that as soon as I came in."

Yuuri walked ever closer, a little riled, continuously rubbing his porcelain hands over his soaked arms. His lips were a little darker, which probably had nothing to do with his aggravation but more so of the freezing rain outside, yet Conrad could have been convinced otherwise.

Shin Makoku's king could never really hold a negative emotion for too long however, and his pulsing annoyance succumbed quickly to a silent countenance.

Conrad quietly pined for the boy in front of him, absolutely taken by the distinguished attributes that set Yuuri's face aglow. He was so quiet and even- he couldn't even be completely angry with _him_, after all he'd done. _Why _he hadn't careened to the side from the mere exhausting act of staring at such a raw work of art, he didn't know. All he wanted was for Yuuri not to say anything anymore, and for him to love him in his own way he had done before all this had happened. He wanted to play baseball in the rain if his king would allow him, and never touch whiskey again- maybe even make Yuuri beam and laugh if he could, if he was only permitted-

Yuuri's eyes were as soft as they ever were as his hand came out and pressed slightly at Conrad's rumpled sleeve.

"Here, lean against something."

He quietly led Conrad to the very beam Josak had cockily taken rest at mere moments before, and made sure the drunken man could lean against it completely balanced.

For a moment Yuuri's face contorted strangely, and he stepped away from Conrad's frame as if to get a better look. He tapped at his chin as if he were a dean interrogating a student; the kind that already knows the kids been accepted, but enjoys just a bit of teasing.

"You know, you don't really look like yourself in here. I don't think I've ever seen you so disheveled."

Conrad, who had always made it a point to be presentable before his king, was slightly irked.

"I didn't intend for you to find me, Your Majesty, I apologize."

Yuuri's funning jests suddenly halted, and his eyes softened to a different degree of silence; his hand hovered, uncertain, over his chin. It led any wandering eyes to the small, decadent curve of his lower lip before he spoke again.

"I guess I knew that already."

There was no point in trying to hide the disappointment in his black eyes. No point in Conrad pretending he didn't see them, either.

In a desperate attempt to lift them again, he tried to keep Yuuri's attention and threw all of his miserable self loathing to the side for a moment. _Both_ of them didn't need to be alone.

"However, I would love to be in your wedding."

He thought it might work, like all the times before. At the evenings when Yuuri had been upset, Conrad's gestures and silent adoration had proved sufficient for whatever Yuuri craved to feel. If he had been down from a courtly decision, Conrad's catching arm could easily wrap around such a problem, could make it seem altogether insignificant...

Yuuri blinked this time and remained motionless.

Conrad waited for the, "We both know that's not what I came here for," or the, "You have the nerve to actually take me up on the offer?" but Yuuri said nothing to ease his tensions. He just waited, seeming to assess the situation; eyes scanning the lantern's light that had been long ago left on a board of wood across the stable.

Conrad waited breathlessly for him to speak.

"The court recital is at ten... they told me to have a witness. I didn't want to bother Murata or Josak or... well, you either. But I thought... maybe, to make things..."

Conrad was wincing but Yuuri wasn't looking at him. He suddenly rushed to have the direction of their encounter change.

"Have you met her?"

Yuuri looked up in surprise. His hair was still noticeably wet, but he seemed to be warming up. It still glistened from the lantern's warm wick.

"I've only seen her for a moment. Her names Beverly."

Conrad nodded curtly and tried to envision what sort of woman would be worthy of taking Yuuri's hand in marriage. Would she have brown hair? Brown eyes? Certainly not. He didn't have to think long to decide it wasn't the best way to spend his energy.

He could tell Yuuri was completely uncomfortable talking about it anyway, regardless if Conrad could imagine what she looked like or not. Yuuri's cheeks had tinged a bit, paling in comparison to the color of his mouth; highlighting the white of his eyes.

"She's nice. She's a little quiet...but pretty. I'm not sure if she even likes me, though. I mean, Gwendal sort of recommended her, and I didn't really want to force anyone, but she said she understood and you weren't there and-"

Yuuri stopped, finally chewing on his lip.

"Conrad..."

He could taste the tone in Yuuri's voice.

_Would it be so bad, just to take something for yourself? Just this once?_

Conrad couldn't have stopped himself with the sort of determined look Yuuri had, the alcohol in his veins, the sweet drops of rain falling off Yuuri's cheeks. He liked to think they were desperate tears, for him alone, and that he could stop them if he tried to. With so many things working against his better judgment, Conrad saw his last seconds of opportunity running away with him, and he couldn't ignore the pleading way Yuuri had called out to him, dismantling his isolated demeanor. He _wanted _to wipe his eyes, _wanted _to rebelliously act out a night before a man's wedding; and he didn't care if anyone felt any other way.

He paused.

_What was I _thinking?_ Whiskey?_

Yuuri came closer until Conrad's shadow, cast from the lantern, covered one of his coal eyes.

"Conrad..." he repeated, "You really don't have anything to say?"

How easy it was to give into temptations of greed or flesh. How far would he _really _fall if it was just this one night? Wasn't Yuuri right? Wasn't Yuuri's ardent eyes enough to make a man crush and fold and want and need?

_If he commanded it, I wouldn't have a choice, right?_

It was his last chance before the alcohol took him completely. Never mind that it had been wearing off for a good twenty minutes.

"I'll attend your wedding. I'll be there, Yuuri."

_If he asks it of me, then I've made up my mind. He can have it._

"Please..."

It must have been the way his voice slightly cracked and deepened, or the way he had forgotten to use formality for Yuuri's title. It could have merely been the cause of Conrad speaking of weddings with Yuuri's name in the same breath, or confusing Yuuri's begging for something else. God knew the main reason was because Yuuri's eyes had softened to such a quiet need, such a devastated public desire- and at that instant, every inch of Conrad's soul wanted to claim him. It rushed him in an entirely novel sensation and swept to his roots. His fingers tingled, like catching a curve ball in a glove, or racing for a pop fly that would never be caught; and he almost shielded his eyes in anticipation of watching Yuuri slide into home, safe.

_It was over since the beginning. How could I have won this?_ This game had had it's ninth inning long before he had locked himself up in self pity. Why it had taken him this long, he would never, ever know. He _had_ known from the way Yuuri breathed next to him while running, from the way he gave him his own fork at dinner for the lack of utensils in the kitchen. Alcohol? A deterrent! Oh, and only to think that it had cleared his vision and mind in so short of seconds, to allow him a warrant for what he really should have been batting for the entire time.

Wolfram could wait! The others could wait. Weddings could be canceled and reinstated, and hell, if it was the whiskey talking, then God blessed, allow him to have a few more moments in such clarity and single mindedness.

Conrad had always been a strong man, but he knew when to lose- and if winning the prize had only needed a little loss to whiskey, _and how could I regret this? Having him? _then he would just go ahead and forfeit.

Conrad's arms, seconds after Yuuri had uttered his plea, wrenching him from his state of limbo- between desire and loyalty- reached around his small limbs and grazed his lower back. He easily bunched his fingers and brought Yuuri close to him, ignoring the surprised yelp in one fell swoop, and didn't take any longer with turmoils and desires. His face easily reached down to the height Yuuri had attained at nineteen, nearly to his chin and-

They seamed together. Yuuri's lips were as soft as they had been in the hallway, as soft as they had been when Conrad had been _confused _and completely _stupid. _His mind didn't even _begin_ to describe them. Silk was nothing when his own lips were pressed against _this. _

For a moment Yuuri's eyes widened in ambiguous horror- God only knew what he could have been thinking of. Smashed between Conrad's chest and arms he grunted from the sudden weight, attacked by the sour stench of the alcohol, barely able to breathe.

He was yelling, "Wait!" trying to free his arms, wincing and exerting himself to get free from the tan uniform that had so easily_ disregarded him_ days ago-

Yuuri managed to get in a few words just as Conrad's skilled mouth opened to pry at his bottom lip.

"Ungh, _Whiskey?_ Conrad, please stop-"

Conrad was pushing again and Yuuri couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He had been right all along- right about his own feelings- spot on with Conrad's... but the man was drunk. _Drunk._

_This doesn't make any sense. He's lied to me... again.  
_

Conrad's fingers suddenly slipped to the skin of his back, and he arched a little forward, stringing his eyebrows together from the effort it took not to sound out.

Conrad's onslaught quickly led him to pushing off the wood he had been leaning on, planning to take this to a more comfortable spot- but forgetting about the whiskey, he only succeeded in stumbling to the side with Yuuri tightly in one arm, the other desperately trying to keep both of them up on another beam he had ungracefully tripped towards.

He grunted once, half from the effort and half from finally succeeding to ease Yuuri's lips open, and quickly maneuvered to hold both sides of Yuuri's body securely.

Yuuri suddenly sounded like he was trying to talk, and Conrad wanted to listen, _he really did, _but the sweet, lingering scent of his breath was a bit too much to take in, (regardless of having a wonderful amount of it the day before) and he answered by tasting the salt of his lower lip instead.

Yuuri finally hitched and shuddered, vaguely whimpering as heat poured from Conrad's body. He leaned into Conrad's touch involuntarily. Conrad grunted at the sound and lifted his arm to grab the boy's shoulder, promptly knocking the forgotten lamp from its perch and not giving a damn if all the hay burned and the whole stable turned to ash.

"Wait-!"

Yuuri's cry was smothered before he could finish, the lamp's glass shattering at their feet.

Managing to free an arm, Yuuri tried flailing his wet sleeve at the small fire beginning but a foot away from them, and had a deep feeling that it wasn't helping.

"Conrad-!"

Conrad's foot quickly stomped out the flames, his hands continuing their work. Yuuri sputtered in disbelief.

"I said wait-!"

But it was easier for a wet shirt's buttons to come undone than to listen. Easier than Conrad had imagined it would be, at least. They slipped with his fingers and revealed smooth, pink flesh, and he prayed that, even though he was as eager as ever, that he would be able to stop himself if he had to. Yuuri's hair kept leaving drops over his uniform, and he knew he'd have to send for another one in the morning thanks to wrinkles. But it didn't matter. Nothing did. His lips were nearly numb with effort, but he couldn't stop grasping the taste he had refused to indulge in days ago.

Yuuri was gasping for air, gasping sounds that almost sounded like his name, kissing him back in a rush, sobbing- Conrad couldn't tell. All he knew was that he wanted it to go on for as long as God allowed it to. He wanted to kiss away those past few days- he wanted to keep going until tomorrow was over, until the whole castle was in a panic, looking for their runaway groom, until everyone gave up and they were _finally_ left to themselves-

Yuuri finally broke away from Conrad's mouth, gasping, pushing away and finally-

Conrad realized that he was livid.

"Stop!"

Yuuri was looking at him in an angry stupor, wiping his dampened mouth, getting out of his embrace.

"Conrad, what are you _doing?"_

His hands were still lightly touching Yuuri's sides, his eyes abandoned, confused. He spotted how swollen Yuuri's lips were, and the whiskey died down a little bit.

"Yuuri..." His voice was unbearably scratchy.

"I came here to start _over_! Not have you restart this again!"

For a moment, everything fell into place for Conrad Weller. He saw the wedding plans fulfilled, saw himself yelling at Yuuri in the hallway- his lips began to burn like the first time, ached- he could hear the painful hate seeping in and finally could see Yuuri, devastated- instead of willing.

"Oh God Yuuri, I'm sorry..."

He took a step closer, reaching, and Yuuri took a step back.

His eyes were watery, but it was harder to tell since the closest lamp had been destroyed. His fists were clenched, and he shrunk from Conrad's touch like it was acid.

"I...I came here, so you can stay with me in some way- some _other _way."

Conrad stood still, staring.

"You didn't want me, and that's fine."

Yuuri's eyes collapsed at that and looked away, ashamed, no longer scared to speak openly of feelings he had already displayed on a _silver platter_ for the man. Conrad, however, felt the knife slice in him and twist, tasting the irony of it all.

"No, Yuuri, that wasn't-"

Yuuri pushed away from him and looked completely away. Rain was indistinguishable on his cheeks as his eyes flooded.

"It was whatever it was. It's done. I wanted you to at least... want to stay with me, or near me, or- you sent me away! Away to someone else! And now you kiss me, kiss me like you can't... live without me."

He was beautiful, the dim light barely gracing his hair, his top buttons askew, his cheeks pink.

"You're confusing me even more, Conrad."

Conrad had seen Yuuri serious many times in his life, but he had never seen him so down trodden. His voice laced with desperation and thick, thick blackness was all it took for Conrad to completely lose it.

"Yuuri-"

He stopped when he noticed the boy not looking at him still, and turned him around to face him.

"Yuuri, I don't want you to get married. Does me saying that make it all right?"

Yuuri peered at brown eyes for along while, scoffing as he retorted, "Yah, and that's the whiskey talking. Wonderful."

He pulled abruptly away from the hands that grasped him, his voice a little thick with tears.

Conrad watched as that wonderful vision escaped him, his sight slightly off, vainly trying to scan Yuuri's face. Waiting, waiting to see if he would let him in like he always had.

Instead there was nothing, and Yuuri's eyes were truly black.

"I'm not a toy. Not something for you to play with when you're drunk."

Yuuri turned away and Conrad nearly cried out, barely grabbing his arm in time before he could run off. He grasped the cloth tightly and yelled everything he had never said in his mind, trying to string them into words, declaring and testifying every feeling- every hidden feeling- he had ever felt. If Yuuri could have seen his thoughts, he would have seen himself- _miles of himself- _picnics, dancing suits, fields and suns and letters- his mother's curry beneath him in a bowl that made his smile steam brighter, Christmas with grateful looks of being saved from ridiculous attachment wings- cayenne pepper dirt from the baseball field smeared across a cheek, fireworks and tears and struggles and years and years of love that struggled_ just_ as much (more?) as a king did.

But Conrad only mustered a violent calling, a _"Yuuri, I-"_ that folded back onto his tongue, and couldn't even nearly express the colors in his core.

Yuuri gave him one last glance, already as hurt as he would allow himself to be. His eyes were a case-hardened shell as he waited.

Conrad knew it was now or never, and as the alcohol ebbed, and the guilt seeped in his lungs and veins, he blamed it on the only thing he could.

"You should never forgive me."

Yuuri stopped, and the rain flecked off of the stable's walls, dripping into puddles as Conrad waited. His heart thudded as it pumped with nothing but the sheer will of a soldier that doesn't know if he'll see the sun. It hurt his chest as he sat there, feeling the intense scrutiny Yuuri was giving the water seeping from the bottom of the door. Small lips quivered a bit and Conrad could taste the lingering texture in his mouth; bittersweet and divine.

Yuuri's fists relaxed and blood flowed through them again.

"I understand." He said, and buttoned his shirt, waiting alongside the man that had always been there. He slid the door open and didn't leave, knowing that- whatever he decided would happen for the rest of the night; be it lenient or _justified,_ Conrad would never let him walk back to the castle in the rain alone.

_______________________________________________________

Yay! Finally, a new chapter! Hopefully that filled some of the achin' my readers are feeling! :)

First, my routine thanks to all of my readers for staying so well committed! And an even GREATER thanks to all of my reviewers! An I love you to- sweetsally, aida135, bantal empuk, sayuri2023, Freakingcage7, PheonixShadow, tezuka, Sea Queen, Rodick, pheecat, Vanimelde, Miss Plague, rowbean, Shippygirl, Le-Red-Knight :), astiga0802, Nezumi Nanashi, OwlSun, chris, Violet Garnets, Meany and Katie!! Thanks so much for your encouraging words!

Well I really hope this chapter was worth the wait. I wanted to finally make Conrad feel a slap to the face, Ha! Yes :) The story will really start to pick up in the next few chapters! It's'a comin' people! Until then, please continue to support me and this story! Also, please continue to ask questions ;) They will be answered... eventually. I'm not sure how much longer this story will be, but it's sure as heck not close to done yet! I hope I'm not lengthening my stay by continuing to update. ;A;!!

Well anyway, enjoy!


	8. Faux Paramour

Lights from the castle hallways pierced through torrents of water. Puddles had seeped into Cheri's flowerbeds and filled the cracks of cobblestones in the roads. Yuuri had been soaking wet an hour ago, but now the tan uniform above his head managed to keep some percent of the rain from getting him sick. A constant drip was cascading onto his nose and the back of his neck, but his moppy hair clung to his face, managing to remain merely damp.

Conrad watched the boy's eyes dart back and forth as he struggled to jog near enough to keep himself dry, the rain in his eyes and down his shirt, clinging to lashes and cheeks. It definitely wasn't humid either; the chill bit at them, and had Conrad the choice, he would have been near some sort of fire, inside, and beside Yuuri on friendlier terms- a fresh towel in hand, the boy's favorite hot drink in the other.

They turned a corner in complete silence. The rain was loud enough to keep it from being awkward, but Conrad still wondered if Yuuri's preference of no conversation was a sure sign of failure.

The open hall that led to the main quarters was but a few yards away. Whatever there was in store for him, he wasn't sure he could accept it. The rain was making it easier for his mind to clear up, to see what he'd done- _again- _through sober eyes.

Yuuri was half running, half sprinting as he made the last stretch to the enclosed area. He dove out from under Conrad's jacket to the stubborn eaves that usually shielded him from the sun. The floor was wet, glistening from the lanterns in the hall and the lights of the maids' windows.

Conrad stood for a moment, in the middle of the unrelenting downpour, holding his jacket and watching Yuuri's dark silhouette against the backdrop of the lights dancing on the walls. He could visualize the necklace hanging by his hollow neck, swaying with the rhythmical breathing Yuuri lived with.

Yuuri breathed on cue, and a bit of heat gathered in clouds about his mouth, his back facing the soldier. Had he known that Conrad was still standing there in the rain, he would have lived up to his personality. He would have immediately fretted, grabbed his shirt, begging _come in_. Begging that you stay for awhile.

Conrad grimaced a bit and tried nonchalantly swinging his jacket over his shoulder, the wet trails stinging his arms and fingers. He was as awkward as he looked, standing there as if the sun was shining right on his face before a morning jog. He felt unwelcome, waiting for Yuuri to acknowledge his presence, teetering between knocking on his door or letting himself suffer on the outside.

Yuuri glanced at him and looked away, barely noticeable, rubbing water away from the paths of his skin.

"You're a hypocrite. You'll get sick, too."

Conrad had heard worse from the boy that night and walked under the eaves to join him without wincing.

It was silent for another moment as Yuuri stood there, and Conrad knew he was thinking to himself. From his vantage point he admired the slow nape of his neck, readjusted his weight to his left leg, and loosened his hold on his thoroughly soaked coat._ Look at the mess I've made._

Yuuri didn't move to face him, but his head lifted a little, and Conrad waited for him to speak.

His voice was timid and slipped through pauses in the rain only slightly; barely loud enough for Conrad to hear.

"How long has this been going on?"

Now that was a hard question. Something told him that Yuuri wasn't going to deal with anymore of his avoiding attempts either, so he decided to respond without the loyal bull along with it.

_Let's make this clear._

"How long have I loved you, or long have I known I've loved you?"

Yuuri didn't say anything and Conrad fancied his eyes were wide, looking to the left, wanting to turn around- not wanting to give in; that delicious look of uncertainty that Yuuri only allowed chosen others to see nowadays.

His shoulders moved with normal breathing, exertion from the dash to the protection of the castle, but he didn't turn to face the man behind him.

"You didn't tell me that the other night."

"That's because I'm a coward."

Yuuri scoffed and turned a bit to the right, seemingly disgusted with the answer- probably sick of the modesty- and shook his head.

"We both are... very, very stupid."

In his tone there was a hint of the nineteen year old Yuuri had become, and behind it there was a sweet smell of what Yuuri was letting go of. Conrad could not have denied that statement had he even tried. Yes, he was probably stupid. He was losing his mind for giving into things he promised to never indulge in. He was a fool for allowing himself to even continue this. He was so tired. Tired, tired, tired and stupid.

Yuuri was simply naive as to let himself fall into such a trap with a man that would never let him go after this.

"I'm not sure you realize what happened when you told me you never had... that you didn't-"

Yuuri cut off his sentence. He shivered, and Conrad moved to wrap his jacket around him, then remembered the freezing water running through it.

"It was a difficult question for you to ask of me at the time."

_Stupid answer._

"Difficult? Do you know how _difficult _it was to _ask?"_

_Stupid, stupid answer._

"I don't know what happened after that Yuuri, but please, I'm trying to understand."

Conrad felt his skin tighten, surprised at the truth in his words. He loved him. God, he loved him. But they had fallen from each other ever since that night he discovered he _wanted_ him- he had been afraid. And it had been a horrible excuse to walk away from him. He could not say anything now because he _did not know _what Yuuri could possibly be thinking. The frustration racked through his spine and his eyes stung, and he was scared to death of losing the precious love standing in front of him. He did not touch him; would not touch him. If he moved he feared Yuuri would shatter and disappear.

Yuuri moved and Conrad's heart jumped, almost thinking his fear of the boy crumbling away would be real. But his limbs were as tangible as they had ever been, and his eyes a little sad, but alive.

"You told me you didn't love me. And you left. And I couldn't even _cry_ I was so surprised."

He fully turned around and pleaded with Conrad for acknowledgment. The man was looking away, brows stitched in pain, nervously grabbing his dripping coat thrown over his burdened shoulders.

"And Gwendal came at me with so many papers, I just signed and signed, because all I could think of was that I had been wrong all along, Josak had been wrong, and even Murata...I probably looked so stupid to them! Asking them what I should say to you. Running around looking like my mother cleaning things because I didn't want to think about baseball. I didn't want to run into you... I hated even being alone to think! What was I even going to do after that? I couldn't love anyone else, and I'll admit it! I- God dammit, all I'm good at is rambling!"

Conrad shook his head and loved the words falling from Yuuri's lips.

"Yuuri, being with me would never lead to anything good. You couldn't be persuaded then."

"But then."

Conrad stopped immediately at the forewarning in Yuuri's tone. His run-on sentences had come to a quick stop and veered in the other direction. Eyes peered and sucked Conrad in quickly. He was stepping closer, looking up at the eyes that had rejected him days before, searching for the invisible clue that would tell him what to say to get Conrad to give up.

"But then you kissed me back in that hallway. And I felt what it would have been like, and I'm sure... I'm sure that you did, too."

He had _no clue _how right he was, and it didn't matter that Yuuri had kissed _him_ the very first time- his memory was sharp when recalling those sorts of things- but this time he had no intention of denying it.

"Yes, I did kiss you."

Yuuri looked like he was about to say something, but stopped in surprise. For a split second Conrad's stomach burst in guilt, but he bit his tongue and refused to screw with Yuuri's emotions any longer. Yuuri raised an eyebrow, confused, relieved-

"Yes... yes you did."

He obviously hadn't created a backup plan if Conrad caved and just went along with what he wanted him to say, what he _needed _him to say. He hovered for a moment, and Conrad openly gazed, amazed at how easy all of this was coming to him.

"You _did_ kiss me, even when you told me you wouldn't be with me. And even now... now you ask me if I mean _when_ you loved me, or how long you _knew _you loved me, when you never answered _me_ in the first place-"

Yuuri was blushing. It tinged his cheeks as he looked down, eyes a little wide, completely addicting. He was falling into realization.

"And suddenly Gwendal was there and telling me 'Pick, pick, pick!' and I thought Beverly sounded like a girl who might- well, wow, I don't want to tell you this- who might let me keep... let me keep _someone- _do you know what I'm saying? But then I thought Dear God how could I ever think that! Was I actually thinking of him like... like-"

He sighed in frustration.

"I've tried so hard to seem silent about this. To... convince you, that I was old enough. And now look at me. I bet I still look fifteen."

Conrad wryly smiled like he hadn't in awhile, bittersweet memories of completely innocent touches in the foreground, and Yuuri's eyes barely managed to light up, and the whole strange cloud around them seemed to choke the air that filled their lungs. Conrad felt okay with it for once in his life, took a breath, and began to take chances for both of their sakes.

"Your age never really stopped me, Yuuri."

It was a dangerous thing to say. It was the right thing to say.

"It was nineteen years ago that I loved you, it was three years ago when I fell in love with you- but God knows it might have been even longer, and it was only a year ago that I knew. And I still think I shouldn't be telling you these things."

Yuuri's eyes flickered, yet his cheeks wouldn't fold into a smile- but there was something there, and Conrad prided himself to see it. It was an expectant look of awe and adoration- of _dependence- _a smooth, silent gaze that finally matched Conrad's- then the clock in the kitchen said it was eight thirty two, and Yuuri finally thought to himself that Conrad had been lying all along.

Yuuri stopped for a moment. That ever-readable face folded to frustration, and he threw a hand over his eyes, moaning in displeasure.

"What am I supposed to do now? Do you even realize that my wedding is in less than fifteen hours? I can't even imagine what I signed! I could have given my soul away for all I know!"

Conrad grunted.

"Well I know it wasn't that, Yuuri."

_I've safely guarded _that_, I'm sure of it._

"I could have promised Gwendal all of my children if I canceled the marriage!"

Yuuri was now rubbing his eyes with both hands, whining and youthfully captivating in his sleek, framing nineteen year old body.

"You wait till now. Conrad, if this is whiskey and I'm just going to have my heart taken from me again-"

"It's not. I'm positive."

And he was. The rain had an odd cleansing effect on him, and he still slightly felt the dull throb of alcohol in his eyelids, but he could feel the magnetic pull from Yuuri override his senses even more.

"And don't worry about wedding Ms. Beverly. I will still be here."

It was a complete commitment that couldn't be based off anything except love. It was an offering that would give Yuuri everything he could and want nothing in return. A sacrifice. Conrad was good at those.

Yuuri had already admitted his feelings towards the soldier, and frankly, he didn't want to take anything else from him. _Children. _He couldn't give him everything. He had accepted it the day he knew that his place would never rise to be at the King's side formally. He would always be a bit to the background, towards the left hand, quiet, giving. The truth was that he hadn't even a qualm about it.

Yuuri stared between his fingers, grimacing.

"Conrad, do you actually think I'd... that I'd even expect that of you?"

"Expect what, Yuuri?"

"Just to... sleep with me?"

Conrad's mind flared at the thought, but he simply refused to let it reign over. He quickly kept it down with a thousand locks and keys, and ignored the lush coloring of Yuuri's cheeks.

The poor boy let out a little sound that probably meant, "Well, that came out badly," or "Please run me through with your sword, Conrad," but it couldn't have been any worse than Conrad's struggle to drop the images running with him. _How do you not sound eager for that sort of thing, but still sound willing?_

"Yuuri, if that's what you wish, I'd happily-"

"No! Obviously not!"

Conrad paused, drastically reevaluating the whole conversation. Yuuri was confused for a moment, then the words he'd said registered with him.

"Wait! Hnn, this is horrible- I'm not saying I wouldn't want you to- God. Conrad, please don't make me say this."

He didn't want to make him, but his words had him pleasantly hooked.

"I don't understand." Josak always told him he was a great liar.

"Conrad!" Yuuri groaned and threw himself over, covering his face, leaning on his knees. He mumbled something, asked if Conrad had heard him- which he really hadn't- and lifted back up to face him.

"I told you before that... I was aware. Of what lust was. You know? I mean, I thought my hints might have gotten across but I guess not. Why am I saying this?"

Conrad was trying _so hard _not to smile. For once in the entire life he had lived, he felt _wanted._

"Yuuri-"

"No. Wait."

The boy prepared himself.

"I'm saying that I'm old enough to discern the two, and I... I feel both... for you, that is."

Yuuri had tried to tell him before, but in this manner- face to face- openly, with a sort of silent decision to love each other behind the lines, was too much. He didn't want to repeat another barn incident, so he distracted his king.

"Yuuri, if that's true, you can rest knowing that I have no objections to being-"

"Jeese, Conrad! Are you even listening? I'm telling you I don't want you just for- just for the second part! What have you been thinking all this time? Why haven't you come to me?"

Conrad faltered a bit, watching Yuuri lift with the shaky breaths of a confession. He was looking up at him desperately, still wet and cold.

He had thought in the past few months that Yuuri had been through stages. There was concern, perhaps- he probably didn't want to be married off to someone he didn't know. There was a comfort level between them that would have stayed the same had they both engaged in a platonic marriage. Then there was plain curiosity- and Conrad, being the oldest, closest male to him- was the obvious candidate. Lastly, and probably the most coveted on Conrad's part, was downright lust. His thoughts tried to justify the boy's obvious advances as ones of intrigue and release- and with him right in front of him explaining the opposite-

How was he supposed to say no to this?

Yuuri was still staring at him, closer than before, waiting for his reply.

"Just tell me why you never said anything. And don't try blaming it on Wolfram. You're a lot more competitive than you look, you know."

Conrad already had difficulty processing those few sentences.

"I... I never wanted to impose on you."

"Try again."

Conrad was a bit surprised at the sudden demands contrasting with Yuuri's sweet, understanding eyes. They almost _forced _him to respond truthfully. He sighed.

"I couldn't understand why you would choose me, Yuuri. I saw you and heard you paying certain attention to me, but... I just couldn't make sense of it. For so long I've kept myself from... certain indulgences. It was second nature to deny you. I've made up excuses as to why you might desire me on those occasions. I thought you were only curious, in all honesty."

Yuuri's mouth opened a little bit, half surprised with the straight forwardness, half with the forlorn look tracing Conrad's eyes.

"You're telling me the truth."

Conrad didn't have to nod or approve in order for Yuuri to know he was right.

"This whole time... we've both been suffering, and neither of us could do anything. I was hurting you, wasn't I, trying to get you to... well, crack, I suppose."

"True, Yuuri- I'll no longer lie to you, but at this point in time, I don't think I'd go back and change anything."

Yuuri smiled a little. "Then the wedding." He shook his head, as if that terminated it at all. But there was an under layer of emotion that created tears at the corner of his eyes at the statement of tomorrow's event.

Conrad bit back the bile in his throat. There was no getting around the marriage in _his_ point of view. If Yuuri was right, and had signed something- then even as King he had a public check and balance system that wouldn't approve. It wouldn't matter if it was a last minute decision. It wouldn't even matter if they had Gwendal's blessing. Yuuri was king, but Conrad was publicly aware of the reputation dinges that would hinder Yuuri had he not only married a subordinate, but had left two completely bred, royal and proper candidates behind.

_Why would I even ask anything else, when he's miraculously given me this?_

"Yuuri, I think it wise not to ask anymore from where we both come from."

To his surprise, Yuuri grimaced and stood down, finally reaching a hand out to touch the sleeve of his confusing partner.

"At that meeting, Conrad, I was told some things that made sense. And when the court talks, I try so hard to listen- so hard to please them. And then... I thought you had left me. I thought that, with your resolve, I could never be near you. So... the choices I made that day, aren't the best I've made while being king. Please, don't be sickened with me..."

Conrad's stomach dropped, fearing the worst. What had they told him? Threats?

If it was as bad as he thought it was, or even _nearly _as bad, he swore he'd pick Yuuri up right there and be gone with everyone else. He had the permission now. He had Yuuri's approval...

_He had Yuuri's approval._

It hit him with a blossoming effect, and the knot of his need for the past years unfurled; he saw Yuuri's worried face and felt the extra compassion that comes to someone who has the right to protect and touch the skin of their loved one.

"Tell me, Yuuri. I don't know if I can, but I will try hard to make these lost years up to you."

Yuuri smiled a bit and sniffed as Conrad hesitantly touched the hand that gripped his sleeve.

"Conrad, I don't know what to do... they've-"

"Your Majesty?"

Yuuri swerved around and broke away from Conrad's touch, so frightened that he almost slipped on the pavement had he not been holding onto Conrad's arm.

When Yuuri moved the soldier could see his older brother standing there with a lantern, peering at the two of them with squinted eyes and ever creasing wrinkles. His uniform was untouched by the rain.

"Gwendal..."

Yuuri let go of Conrad's arm, and his slender fingers fell to his side. Conrad knew throughout the years that Yuuri was no longer intimidated by his older brother- but there were times like these, times he knew when Gwendal had obviously given Yuuri something to worry about.

"Sorry, I've just been speaking with Conrad. We were almost done. Did we wake you?"

Conrad caught the strange look his brother sent his way, trying to register it. It wasn't reprimanding, nor admiring; it was stuck somewhere in between the glances Gwendal had given him when they were young, when the full demon had been suspicious of the actions of his younger brother.

Gwendal scoffed.

"Wake me? Hardly. I just came to find Conrad," a pause. "I thought he might be out here."

Yuuri wasn't the only one to catch the strangeness in Gwendal's appearance. The man's neatly kept hair was a bit pulled from the plait he normally sported, and he was sighing in impatience as he scrutinized the two.

Conrad, if anything, didn't feel the urge to leave Yuuri's side at the moment, regardless of Gwendal's silent provoking. The bright feeling of satiety warmed his nerves and stomach, and just looking at the boy now was more than enough to keep him satisfied. There was a different tugging between them; now that they had spoken of their secrets, regardless of how it would play out in the morning. Conrad knew, at this point, that looking back would be foolish- he would be able to greedily be with Yuuri, and if it meant being branded with the title lower than that of marriage, then there was no reason he couldn't have the best of both worlds. Gwendal would not have to worry about his younger brother spoiling Yuuri's wedding.

"I was just bringing His Majesty to bed, Gwendal. I'll be right with you."

Yuuri threw Conrad a look, a pleading shake of the head that wasn't noticeable to the other man across from them, but Conrad only smiled forgivingly in return. The first step in this strange, new classified relationship would be finding allies to survive- Gwendal was quite a catch in the matter. Conrad didn't know if Yuuri thought of it as a quiet affair, but by the conditions... There was no way Conrad could set this up in the open and succeed, and he was not a gambling man- not when he had a prize he had been dying for all this time.

He touched Yuuri's shoulder, still balancing his coat in his other hand, and began to walk them both down the hallway, towards Gwendal.

"I'll meet you in your office, brother."

Gwendal turned with them, the light from his lantern bouncing off their backs, making the all too personal touch Conrad was gracing Yuuri's lower back with much too obvious. Yuuri glanced up at Conrad's face quickly, looked behind him towards Gwendal's troubled face, and turned into the castle with his soldier at his side.

___________________________________

Thanks for staying with me through this everyone! It's coming close to an end, finally! I know a lot of you are just going insane with the crazy wait I've put you through. Sorry, sorry, I'm trying to atleast make it an enjoyable ride! :)

This chapter sort of came easily, and I was worried that maybe I had made Conrad's feelings sort of... hm, advance? rather quickly, but I figured- you know, when you love someone, and you finally come to say it to them; it's just a natural reaction that sets all these things into chain events, and so I reread it a hundred times, and said- You know what! I think it's good!

Sorry if you disagree, ha! :) I will attempt to make it up to you if you do!

Thanks to all my GLORIOUS reviewers! I would have stopped a long time ago if it wasn't for you guys! Thanks to aida135, Rodick, Dolasiar, ., , Shippygirl, Miss Plague, Sea Queen, Freaking Cage, Raven Cactuar, PheonixShadow, sweetsally, deee, Tazzles, Katie, pyrrhicvictoly, and amy!

Really guys, submitting those reviews really gets me motivated, makes me smile and just downright makes my day! I love to know that you guys want more updates! If you guys would like to talk to me as well, you can always send me messages via email of , so go for it! I love to hear from you guys, it's like we're already best friends!

Oh, and remember the second time I updated, and I was freaking out about having over 300 hits?

Guess what.

7,077 HITS! That's amazing! I can't believe it's come to that! It's all because of you guys! Thank you so, so much! You're the power and drive behind this story!


	9. In Honest Blood

Escorting Yuuri to his room wasn't the easiest of tasks. Conrad knew when something was bothering him, but this seemed extravagant. The boy could barely let his arm go in order to change and get in bed. Conrad knew better than to ask him about it.

"Are you going to see Gwendal?"

He was in his bed and looked a hell of a lot warmer than he was moments ago in the rain. Conrad's only remorse was that he couldn't stay there with him.

"Yes. It will only be a few minutes."

He didn't think it sounded all too encouraging, but it was the best he could do.

Yuuri was gazing at him, looking years past his age, then grimacing to the side. His fingers wrapped knots in the blanket as the flames from the fireplace attempted to make it more comfortable for their king.

It was one of those awkward moments that would quickly become routine, Conrad was sure- normally he would immediately speak up and attend to whatever was bothering Yuuri, but now... he was so thrown from his normal balance that he didn't know how to put his own two feet forward. Was he still allowed to console him? Was he not supposed to just because it was how he had acted before they had spoken of how they felt?

Yuuri glanced at him.

"Are you going to talk to me afterward?"

Another dangerous thing to agree to.

"Would you like me to?"

Yuuri nodded and caught his yawn before it could start. It was well past nine now. Conrad, ever the soldier, couldn't let it go unnoticed.

"You have to get up early, Yuuri. Maybe I shouldn't..."

"No. I want you to listen to me after you hear Gwendal."

This was just getting worse as the night went on. Conrad had no obvious knowledge that would let him know what Yuuri was so worried about. Had it been something that the king _still_ didn't understand about Shin Makoku, he would have come immediately to Conrad's advice, but this was obviously telling him that it was something Yuuri_ knew_ he had done- knew he had signed over...

"All right. I'll come see you before I go to bed."

Yuuri looked a little irked by that but didn't say anything.

When it came to parting ways, Conrad was extremely careful. He knew, with the blood running in his veins, that Yuuri wouldn't mind- would probably prefer- if Conrad kissed him before he left, even lightly. But in a room that was making the boy's eyes larger and darker by the second, Conrad wasn't going to risk maddening Gwendal by showing up hours late.

He said goodnight with all the possible strength in the world, promising to return with a graze of a hand, and escaped quickly before he was sucked back in.

Gwendal wasn't so happy anyway, even when Conrad showed up only fifteen minutes after they had been seen in the hallway. He was glad he hadn't pushed his limits, for fear of Gwendal actually decapitating him.

There were papers everywhere, like always, but they all managed to look neatly stacked and organized. He couldn't help but notice one that Gwendal was holding and scouring over, the ever-present scowl apparent in his eyebrows.

Conrad sat down across from him without being asked.

"You wanted to see me, Brother."

It wasn't a question, but a soft reminder that they were _brothers, _in case Gwendal was severely, _severely, _pissed.

Gwendal was still looking over the paper before he abruptly looked back at Conrad, and aligned the papers he was holding by hitting them softly against the desk.

"Did nothing Gunter and I say to you have any effect on anything you've done?"

He was well known for getting straight to the point.

The truth was, it _had. _It had greatly dictated how Conrad had gone about things for weeks. _Keep what you have to yourself. _Did his brother even realize how _much _that controlled his life? Conrad wouldn't have been able to function without that as his creed. He had loved Yuuri so inexorably from afar, for so long, for an eternity- his own brother couldn't even see that he had lived and breathed those words every waking hour for the past nineteen years.

Gwendal was staring at him and making his own assumptions.

"Was he honestly too much for you to stand up against? For Shinnou's sake, Conrad... he's nineteen."

Conrad waited patiently.

"How is it possible for someone of your stature to lose pride such as that?"

It was getting harder to keep his mouth shut.

"What did the King do, offer you things that you couldn't dream of having with-"

Conrad's fist against the desk was enough to get his point across. Gwendal looked not surprised but appalled at his actions, slightly backing away from the obvious gesture. For a moment he stood there, peering at Conrad's agitated eyes- but his relentless pursuit had obviously won.

Gwendal hadn't seen Conrad like this in years.

"You can finish what you have to say, but you're not deciding for either of us. You are my brother, and I can listen to you, but it does not mean I need to act as a puppet. What did you send me for?"

Gwendal was uncomfortable, and apparently so.

There was a moment of silence as the proud mazoku ran his fingers down the paper.

"If you ever thought I was against having you happy, I'm sorry."

It shattered Conrad's anger in seconds, and he was almost immediately taken aback, staring at a brother who had loved him with a strong hand since the day he was born. He had never said sorry to him, even when Julia or his father had died.

"I cannot act as a brother and councilman. The mere fact that I let this continue was selfish of me- but I've never seen you smile at someone so dearly. It's discomforting."

Conrad was having trouble interpreting discomforting to "difficult for _me_."

"If that's the case, then something higher than you is obviously calling the shots."

Gwendal nodded.

Since it was in the affirmative, Conrad began guessing what could possibly have a say over him. Even if the entire court was against him, which was highly unlikely, they would still have to consider a trade-off. Such big decisions, like the marriage of their king, would need to be unanimous. However, if Gwendal never said anything...

"You agreed to him marrying someone else?"

"Absolutely not."

Gwendal was on a roll with surprising him that night.

"What it relatively came down to, was His Majesty's decision."

Conrad wasn't going to lie. It wasn't making any sense. When he had been quiet for a few moments, Gwendal sighed and started up again.

"Do you know why Wolfram took the cancellation rather easily?"

For someone else, "easily" was still having a smile and interacting with others, but Conrad supposed "easily" with Wolfram meant not blowing up at the poor few who happened to walk past him in the hallways.

"No, but I suppose he's getting older."

Gwendal shook his head.

"He was about to push the date for the next week, so naturally, he went with Ulrike to ask Shinnou when the best time was. Of course, Yuuri didn't hear about any of his plans."

Conrad readjusted how he was sitting. Just hearing the way Gwendal was leading up to things was making him uncomfortable.

"From what you can guess, Shinnou told him that he had never approved, not once, of their engagement, or of their possible union, and finished by saying something that Wolfram wouldn't tell anyone. However, Shinnou told The Sage a few hours later."

Silence.

"He already has his mind set on someone else for Yuuri."

Conrad took that with immediate guilt. His own brother, turned away from something he had tried so hard for in the past four years. He didn't have to lie to himself and lament if the _designated person _wasn't him. He knew better then that, and because of this, he wanted to apologize to Wolfram instantly and tell him the truth.

Gwendal could tell his brother wanted to run off and fix things, he knew him so well- but-

"I haven't finished."

If Conrad had ever moved from his chair, you couldn't tell now. He waited impatiently once again.

"When Murata was told this, the Court had already been informed about the cancellation of the engagement, and had set up nieces and nephews for possible interviews. Yuuri was forced to see a few of them that very day, even in the middle of all the chaotic problems emitting from Wolfram's temper. They were so tired of waiting on his decisions that they all pushed for him to at least start finding a bride, quickly. In order to buy him time, Murata told the court what Shinnou had said. They agreed they wanted to take their time in 'finding the appointed bride.' If she or he was so special, then he should have been able to find them in three days."

It finally all fell together. Conrad could taste the sincerity on his tongue, with the aftertaste of panic. If he had picked someone, Beverly, whoever it was- and Shinnou had not said anything, then perhaps she was actually-

"A bit more to tell you I'm afraid."

Conrad slumped.

"It was only a few days ago when it happened. Yuuri picked Ms. Beverly, and quite suddenly after denying all of the candidates for so long- and seeing she was the only one that had taken interest in how he spent his time-" a glare, which meant it had probably been about baseball- "he took her himself to see Shinnou."

Brown eyes widened. "He'd actually-"

"Shinnou wasn't happy. But Yuuri was even more livid."

There was finally a pause as Gwendal sighed heavily and relaxed against his chair. He had a look in his eyes that crossed sympathy and pity.

"Apparently, he had just argued with you. He told Shinnou he was tired of it all and didn't care if she didn't match up. He warned him, he told him he would hate that decision later- but Yuuri didn't listen. He signed the document in blood, which was the only way to force Shinnou into accepting it. Even he couldn't deny it, not when Yuuri himself had made the decision."

There was one time in his life that Conrad had ever felt similar to this. He had been there to see the sword slice through Yuuri's abdomen, and he could honestly say he now knew the fear of a life's death other then his- but he had never felt such a searing heat through his own body, even after hundreds of mortal injuries, as he did now.

"Signed in blood? ...Did the court tell him he had to do that to force a marriage vow?"

"I'm sure one of them did. Now, he doesn't even have the chance to divorce her."

Conrad felt like exploding. It was that same increasingly agitated anger that had pulsed through him in adolescence.

"He's been taken advantage of! Why would Shinnou even allow him-!"

"He can't deny a king when they've made their own decision."

"But shouldn't he know that Yuuri had no clue?!"

Conrad wasn't one to yell at his brother, but it ripped through his throat and veins nonetheless.

"Yell all you want, but it won't fix a damn thing, will it?"

It wouldn't, but Conrad didn't care.

"If you had listened to me when I tried to help you, if you had kept what you had to yourself- Yuuri wouldn't have acted out, wouldn't have come to you, and you wouldn't have given in- we wouldn't be here, and His Majesty would never have signed a blood contract in an effort to spite you in his anger. He would have had the option to leave her in a few months, and you would be with him then."

Conrad wanted to scream that he didn't want to hear the justifications, the thousands of _I told you so's _throughout the years that had driven him crazy- this was so much more serious and devastating. The fact that he couldn't be with Yuuri politically would never bother him- but the mere idea of Yuuri being controlled or manipulated by someone else... God, all the split second decisions that could have turned the course of this- this _hell. _He had chosen all the wrong ones.

Gwendal could see the fever in Conrad's eyes as he scanned him. It killed him to see the mimicry of Conrad's heart dying out again.

"When I came to find you, I didn't mean to interrupt. But I hadn't thought that the two of you had escalated to that point. I'm sorry that this has happened."

Conrad could simply erupt from the monotonous tone Gwendal was seeping with, could simply slit the throat of whoever had managed to "mention" that a blood contract would allow Yuuri's decisions to slide over- he could fill a city with the frustration and stolen time and misunderstandings that had mistreated him. The only comforting thought he carried that stopped him from doing so was that Yuuri had asked to explain himself... had promised, forced Conrad into allowing him to speak to him.

Amazing how he knew how his soldier would react, even while he had never seen him give in to emotional desires once before.

Conrad got up steadily, making sure his heart beat wasn't forcing his veins to pulse with heated acid. Gwendal watched as his brother was scraping up the years of pride he had managed to collect.

"If I can help you, tell me. But at this point, I don't even know if I can."

Conrad ignored that.

"I'm going to speak to Yuuri. I'll be in his room if you need me."

When Gwendal opened his mouth to protest, for the honest good of his brother's future- Conrad's frozen face kept him quiet.

He nodded, and Conrad quickly left.

Yuuri was sleeping. It was still raining, long past pouring and to the point of _flooding, _so the coldness was still wrapped around walls and under doors. Conrad wagered that Yuuri had tried to stay awake until he had come back, but had finally succumbed to the cold and gotten under the red comforter, and had drifted off with the warmth. He could barely see his hair from the doorway.

Part of him wanted to wake him up quickly and almost demand what had happened. It scared him, the velocity of his own emotions. He had never actually been in a relationship he supposed. He already had a bad feeling that he would be bad with keeping back certain feelings with Yuuri now.

The second tug of his heart wanted to leave him. In days past, he would put more logs on the fire, make sure he'd have water for the rest of the night, and leave him to his rest. Maybe even steal a graze of his cheek, if he was feeling particularly selfish.

But now... now he had been given the privilege, by Yuuri himself, to stay.

He sat on the other side of the bed and rested a palm on Yuuri's back, momentarily catching his emotions together.

He was utterly stunning when he slept, which made it easier to relax. Had it been other days, and things had worked out, Conrad figured he would have had the nerve to kiss him awake now, and maybe stay for him, for himself- but just looking at him as his eyelids fluttered in sleep was enough.

But it was eating at him.

He rubbed his hand across his spine and Yuuri blinked awake, obviously not taken from consciousness yet. His eyes dramatically deepened as he noticed his waker.

"You talked to Gwendal."

His voice was a little hoarse, but not nearly as bad as when he had been asleep the whole night.

"Yes. You can tell?"

"You look upset."

Conrad sighed, knowing he was giving up. He was a fool if he thought he was the only one that could read emotions.

"I'm not really upset, Yuuri. I didn't come here to bother you."

Yuuri closed his eyes and threw his arm over them- his frustrated gesture.

"You sound like me. Jesus Conrad, I told you to come here myself. You probably sat there and wondered if you should wake me up."

Gwendal had obviously taught Yuuri on how to read him. Or maybe Yuuri was just naturally adept.

His arm came down rather quickly, and suddenly Yuuri was staring at him, the flames making his eyes seem hollow and filled with oranges and reds. His hair clung to him from the heat from under the blanket.

"Gwendal probably told you what I did."

Those fiery irises folded into sadness.

"I'm an idiot."

"No-"  
"No, listen. I _am_ an idiot. I've never been mad, at all- with you. But then... you know how you argue with your brothers? It was worse than that. I was so frustrated with these past years that I wanted it to end..."

His trailing off meant, without a doubt, that he was leaving something out.

"Yuuri?"

He was clenching his teeth and eyebrows, that point before aggravated tears pour out.

"I feel absolutely horrible saying that I wanted you to feel how I felt. I wanted you to-"

"Yuuri," Conrad hushed him with a slightly authoritative tone, too engrossed in his own worries and assumptions. "I can't listen to this. This isn't your fault."

Conrad was moving forward and touching his arm, dragging him from the pillow.

"I'm angry because of what happened to you. You should have never been put in this situation... I should have never-"

_Yuuri _interrupted him then.

"Please. I never want to hear you say you don't deserve me, or you didn't mean to impose, or anything else that sounds like something you might say. Ever again."

He was looking down and away from the man, his bangs covering his eyes, covering whatever emotion could have been leaking out.

Conrad's fingers wrapped around the thin arms that had gripped him so tightly in embraces for years. He knew he probably didn't have the right, but he reacted to Yuuri's distress so naturally that he thought he might try. He pushed his words into determination.

"It will be all right. I'm not going to let anything happen to you that you don't want."

Yuuri finally looked up at him, wholeheartedly accepting the hold on his arms and heart.

"And what of the things I do want?"

Conrad was a bit taken aback, and loosened his hold.

"Of course. I'm not denying you anything, am I?"

"I was wondering if you could kiss me on your own."

Conrad's fingers slipped from the satin skin and fell at Yuuri's side. Yuuri was smiling.

Suddenly his lips were all the more apparent, even between their topic of conversation and struggles and anger- they were sitting, plaint and waiting, allowing Conrad's mouth to move first.

Which, he just realized now, he had never allowed.

"Yuuri..."

It was a warning, like he had tried for years. But now, it should have been completely obvious as to why he might need to warn his king.

"Yes?"

"We're not in a stable, and I've wanted you for years."

What Conrad thought was a permanent, confident Yuuri faded in seconds. A blush rose to the boy's cheeks that shamed the fire that was warming Conrad's back. Hell, he wasn't going to lie to him anymore.

Just to test how red it could get, Conrad moved in a bit closer, and Yuuri's fingers curled around the blankets. The soldier smiled.

"It's time to sleep, Yuuri. We'll take care of this tomorrow."

Yuuri was about to protest, about to mention the wedding- but Conrad just couldn't take it anymore, and gave Yuuri what he had asked for.

It was just as searing, just as blinding as the first one, but all the more addictive.

Conrad leaned to the right to make sure he could breathe as Yuuri relentlessly switched from kneading the blanket to his coat, which was still rather damp from the rain hours before. He wasn't nearly as virginal as the first two, and treated the devoted man with open-mouthed breaths and whimpers, tastes and ferocious touches.

Conrad decided that Yuuri would always taste too damn addictive, and would always be too dangerous to be with alone.

He pulled away as Yuuri groaned in disapproval, trying to remember the fact that it was nearly midnight now, and if they were to get anything done they'd have to get up early.

Yuuri opened his eyes and seemed dazed. Conrad had kept his open the whole time. He wasn't going to miss anything.

"And after that, you're going to leave?"

"I wasn't even considering it."

"Really?" There was the tiniest pitch of hope in there.

Conrad started taking off his boots and Yuuri made room quickly.

"If you promise to fall asleep, I'll stay."

He tried to tell his mind that he had done this dozens of times before, and that now wasn't any different.

Yuuri's eyes flashed in wordless happiness, in agreement, and pulled down the covers.

"I promise."

And for at least one more night, Conrad wouldn't let the marriage bother his victory.

_____________

YAY! Well, I wanted to bring Gwendal some credit, and blame some of the situation on Yuuri. It kind of worked... but, it's just getting worse for these two!! And the ending is sooo close.. I can taste it!!

FIRST, THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS. I LOVEEEE YOUU!! I can't believe most of you are still here....

THANK YOU luminousSpark, gladiola, Freaking Cage, ihsakak, isamu-michi, riceballcrossidoll, deuxamore, Kamea Kane, Shakuya, Shippygirl, MissPlague, aida135, sweetsally, and deee!!! (Most of you guys have been here through the whole thing... THANK YOU! I am so honored. You guys feel like best friends now!)

Anyway, I hope most of you don't hate Gwendal anymore. And I wanted to throw in that kiss... and to ease the relationship over... they've already had their fireworks, haha, but now I'm trying to get this Conrad bastard to go steady...!!

Sorry for such a long wait... I'm hoping to get the next part up rather quickly. At least, faster than this time. I do promise this will be finished though!! Reviews are always welcome! :) Thank you so so much for your time!


	10. Worldly Possessions

Someone was knocking on the door. It was probably one of the most atrocious sounds Conrad had heard in a very long time.

He knew where he was, who he was with, what time it was, and where he was _supposed _to be. And Yuuri's body was in it's rightful place, delicately tucked near Conrad's neck and wrapped in his warmth. He had never wanted to sleep in this badly in _so long_.

But Conrad had come to terms the night before that this would happen. Gunter would storm in, (therefore he was surprised that he even had the decency to knock) sing Yuuri awake, dress him, make sure he had his vows right, and storm him off. Gunter would probably spare Conrad a strange glimpse for a few seconds, then ignore him- would probably leave him alone in this cold and empty bedroom. He'd be left to ponder- about his life, about the rest of his years alone- and would show up moments later all smiles, neatly dressed and ready to hand over Yuuri's hand to some woman.

There was more knocking and Conrad decided that the longer he laid there, the more trouble Yuuri would be in. He folded Yuuri to the other side and made sure blankets made up for his missing body heat, (knowing the cold would probably wake him up in a few seconds) and walked as graciously as ever to the door.

The largest problem here wasn't that Yuuri had left Conrad's side. It wasn't the fact that he was pissed from being woken or his appearances were utterly unpresentable. Once he opened that door, the only thing that would really choose how his life would run from that moment on, was what he would say to Gunter. How he would explain. If Gwendal's implications were correct, then both of them _knew_, along with his mother and Anissina. Would he even need to defend himself, or would Gunter sort of get the gist?

He opened the door, barely thinking to fix his disheveled bangs, and was completely overwhelmed with the sight of his younger brother staring at him.

Conrad stood there for a moment, positive his eyes were betraying him and widening, as his brother openly gawked for little less than a second. There was simply no way of talking oneself out of this one. Wolfram was a very observant person, although quite brash- but the years of screaming at his older brother with fears of him sweeping Yuuri away had not been for nothing.

"Wolfram."

It was all he could get out.

The blond was probably mostly surprised, that was obvious- but the second wave of hurt and betrayal wasn't emanating from his skin. He sat there for a moment, no doubt mimicking Conrad, and cleared his throat.

"I came to pick him up for the dressing recital."

Conrad paused and waited until the meaning of the words fell in place. Although it hadn't been Gunter, the twisting agony of Yuuri's marriage was still present.

"Of course. He'll be up in a minute."

Wolfram's eyes traveled a bit towards Conrad's chest, and his eyebrows scrunched together. It was only then that Conrad was very aware of the fact that his jacket was missing, and his shirt rather crumpled. It probably looked much worse than reality.

Wolfram was constantly clearing his throat, more for his awkwardly placed benefit versus his brother's.

"Well, I can see he already has an escort... so, I will see you both at the wedding."

He was about to walk off, and Conrad figured he was free, but Wolfram clung to the door frame, and turned back to face his brother.

He was _sad. _The type of pitying-sad.

Here Conrad was, thinking that fire would be coming down from the hallways in seconds, and his brother was being empathetic?

"I figured you would be here, but I didn't think the wimp would have let you get out of bed."

To say he was surprised would be an understatement. This was something that Conrad had never even dreamed to hope for, had never even formulated in his head. The idea that Wolfram was quietly there, knowing full well that his accusations had been correct all along, and actually having the temperament to even _speak _to his older brother? That was a miracle in itself. Wolfram spoke up again as if to grace his brother with even more of his mercy.

"Brother."

It was the same tone Conrad has used on Gwendal the night before.

"His is a weak heart. I'm glad, but just so you know, there is nothing that you can do about today. Enjoy your time this morning."

Wolfram was off in seconds and Conrad stood in the doorway, feeling painfully left behind. Had both of his brothers held some sort of knowledge that he would never acquire? Was Wolfram warning him, telling him something?

Conrad waited to feel angered by the sting in Wolfram's words. But it never came. He could not admit that what Wolfram had said was ill-intentioned. There had been no backlash, no hidden motive, and no sore feelings. Wolfram's eyes had had the same look as when he was a child- looking up at Conrad, claiming he didn't understand why he was half human and _why he had been assigned to such a fate. _

Conrad closed the door because he knew eventually the sounds from the castle would awake Yuuri, and that was the last thing he wanted.

He told himself to get back in bed, and to ignore the day ahead of him- taking Wolfram's advice was what he really, honestly needed to do- but he couldn't walk away from the double doors of Yuuri's- _their?_-bedroom. Something about Wolfram's warning had him on edge and his mind was reeling with the meaning of it all.

The fact that he couldn't pick up his sword and cut down the challenges ahead of them suddenly maddened him. He was almost suffocating with the reawakening feeling of being utterly useless. During the night before, he had sat there and let Yuuri sleep, and had wondered why he had never done anything up until this. Would that have made it any easier? If it were him that had slapped him on the very first day of his arrival? Why he hadn't acted as he did on the battlefield, ran forth and just taken Yuuri, alluded him. What in him was so different than the others?

The truth was that he was coming to terms with the fact that he _didn't know how to do anything_ _else_ but protect and kill. But how was love so different? How did Wolfram, so open and so forward, _so blatantly_ claim his love for Yuuri, and understand what it all meant? At eighty-two, no less! Conrad himself would never dare to claim that he knew how deep his love ran. Or what it was. That feeling- that mere thought of it's depth and taste scared him witless. He had never stopped to ponder Julia, but Yuuri was so overwhelmingly _there _that his choice to ignore him would have failed miserably eventually. Yet how was he so different from his older brother, or Wolfram?

His younger brother would eternally be more skilled with expressing emotion than he was, and he felt the pitiless touch of jealousy creep up in his blood. Adding the idea of Beverly atop it would be suicide.

There was another knock and Conrad jumped, more for fear of it waking Yuuri than surprise. He agonizingly wished for it to be Wolfram again, for him to clear things up and explain it to him. He would ask for advice if his pride would allow him- _him, _Wolfram's rival in love, _asking for advice!-_

He swung the door open, not having enough time to be appalled with himself by thinking of his own brother as an enemy, and the blond hair presented itself in it's neat manner. It instantly soothed him, though he'd never say it, and he opened his mouth to acknowledge his brother-

"Sir Weller?"

_Waltorana. _

There is a subtle difference between the brat prince and his uncle. If Wolfram opens his mouth, there is selfishness and aggression, but there is no malice or hate. Never mind the fact that it used to be so different. Wolfram, in his _current_ form, was now wholly passionate and astute, despite his past.

Waltorana was a _snake_, and Conrad would never be fooled by his antics- even when he had so easily warmed up to Yuuri- and that cannibalistic description would always fit him like skin.

So, this, this _person,_ was absolutely _not Wolfram. _The last time Conrad had seen this man was when the mere _idea _of Yuuri's next marriage came into play. The entire court had shown up, and he had ran into him on the way to training his troops. He had no doubt in his mind that it was probably he who had planted the idea of Yuuri's contract making before all this. He also had no doubt that Waltorana, however observant, would not be able to notice his feelings towards Yuuri.

But at this point, there was no way to hide it.

The court man's eyes drifted over where Wolfram's were moments ago, and Conrad felt utterly exposed and awkward. Lie? Run? He wasn't about to abandon Yuuri.

"Lord Waltorana. Good Morning."

It was the most pleasant voice he could manage. Waltorana caught on to it, and adjusted his surprise, smiling with a hint of a sneer behind it.

"Yes. A good day for a wedding."

Conrad was very good at hiding anger, and thank God he had been born in a world where it was a necessary skill. He fancied punching the man but echoed his mother's words that _Royals were Royals. _He knew he was still smiling for the sake of appearances, but he could feel the rising pressure on his skin. He was holding his ground, hand still on the inner doorknob, and why, he didn't know. He felt more defensive than usual. He wondered if it had anything to do with the obsidian jewel behind him.

"Well." Waltorana spoke up, after decades of silence. "I suppose if he already has someone to wake him, then I better continue with preparations..." another pause. "Don't you think it's a little early for the King to decide that Beverly isn't... satisfactory? They haven't even had a chance yet."

It took a little while for the meaning to reach him, but once it did, Conrad flared in a way that he hadn't felt in a long time. Shame seeped up his spine and he had to force himself to keep his expression in check. Never mind that his head was reeling with the very implication of what Waltorana was saying- this was crossing on Yuuri's title, if only a little.

A few days ago, Conrad would have stepped down and excused himself. He would have shamefully accepted the fact that he was going nowhere with his king and that he never would, and that every bit that Waltorana was saying was a _thousand _percent correct-

But now. _Now. _

Yuuri was sleeping behind him, and had asked that he stay, and had given him word and permission and everything else that Conrad thought was impossible. Where before he had faltered, Yuuri had instilled in him some kind of intrepid _want, _andhe figured everyone else could go to hell.

"Do you have an issue I can help you with, Waltorana?"

It was amazing that he was keeping composure.

"Issue? No, I was merely stating the obvious."

Despite Conrad's efforts, it was escalating quickly to a very dark conversation in the main hall. He wondered if he should walk out and shut the door behind him and stand threateningly in front of the man, but Yuuri wouldn't be very happy with him. But if it meant Waltorana's insults were directed at him rather than his King, well, he'd happily step out and turn this into a physical talk.

"Well don't you think-" Waltorana pushed again, "that His Majesty has jumped to certain conclusions-"

"If I have, well, I wouldn't want to try out anyone else after last night."

Waltorana quickly bowed at the sound of Yuuri's voice, but he never let his eyes stray from the King's face. Conrad slightly looked to his side and noticed Yuuri, albeit rumpled hair yet so delicately _Yuuri-_ standing beside him.

Waltorana looked at his King when he was done with his bow, an interesting expression on his face that could be read multiple ways, but Yuuri just responded to it with an innocent smile.

Neither would have noticed the underlying _shock_ on Conrad's face- so blatantly obvious and open- thanks to the very interesting aura between the three.

The mere idea of Yuuri alluding to him in such an intimate matter was what probably made him utterly speechless and immobile.

"I'm very surprised to see you so early in the morning, Waltorana. I thought I wouldn't be seeing you until well into the ceremony."

"I would merely wish to see His Majesty before he is readied for such a glorious day."

Conrad stood awkwardly as he realized _Shibuya Yuuri_ was coming to _his_ rescue.

The strange thing was was that it was a very cordial conversation, but with a hint of annoyance seeping from Yuuri's mouth. He had never seen him so openly angered with someone within the castle walls.

"Well, you've seen me, and we are quite _busy_ at the moment- but I will make sure to speak with you later."

It certainly sounded like a threat, or a horrible promise- but the smile on Yuuri's face wouldn't let anyone speak against it.

Waltorana said and did nothing as Yuuri shut the door with a smile, never failing to let his expression slip.

The door was closed and Conrad was almost certain Waltorana would have left instantly due to the fact that his pride had been severely wounded, but he couldn't be sure. That didn't stop Yuuri from facing him and bringing it up.

"That really pissed me off."

As if it couldn't be anymore obvious. Yuuri's eyes were still flashing and his mouth was pliant, awaiting instruction, as if he were about to go off on the nearest person. "I don't know how you do it, Conrad."

"I'm sorry?"

"Deal with sarcasm like that all day and smile the entire time."

For a moment Conrad was scared. Yuuri was right. He had always been able to hold his tongue whenever he needed to, and had always given the appropriate expression at the drop of a hat. Yet moments ago that had completely left him. And against a Royal, no less. He had momentarily lost himself in a whirlwind of emotions that he had never allowed himself to feel.

Yuuri was noticing the confusion in Conrad's eyes and understood exactly what it meant. He also understood the undying pressure of the day ahead of them, and of it's struggles, but he supposed finally being tied to the man made him more concerned over the slight way his brows strained together versus national affairs.

"Don't let what he said get to you."

Conrad realized he was falling out of character again, if he needed to be reassured about anything.

"He's just like that. So negative. I think it runs in the family, to be honest."

And then Yuuri was suddenly there, falling into Conrad's chest and reaffirming everything Conrad thought he had dreamed last night.

Yuuri was cold and the soldier abruptly remembered that they had been under covers moments ago.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's not like it's your fault," Yuuri mumbled in his chest, "if he hadn't shown up, we'd still be sleeping."

"Wolfram came earlier."

Yuuri went rigid in his arms and he instantly felt miserable for bringing it up. He'd meant to just inform him, and forgot about the interesting_ complexity_ between all of them now. After this marriage, how would things even be described to anyone?_ 'Well you see, this is the half breed Sir Weller, who is __with his Holy Majesty the King, who has a brother- wait, who's brother?- yes, his Sir Weller's brother the youngest, who had been previously engaged with the King- who's uncle set up adorable Ms. Beverley and-'_

Being with Yuuri the entire night had made him pliant with reality, which was now harshly making up for its missed company.

Yuuri was still standing there, waiting for an explanation.

"He came about twenty minutes ago, and I'm pretty sure he didn't expect me to be here. But he wasn't angry."

It didn't help Yuuri relax at all.

"Really, Yuuri. He was here to escort you, but handed the responsibility to me. He told me to enjoy my morning."

Yuuri's face inched up towards Conrad and he stared at him for a second.

"He didn't even yell at you?"

"If he did, you would have woken up to that for sure."

"He didn't demand answers?"

"I'm pretty sure he knows them already."

Yuuri scanned Conrad's eyes for the common sign of discontent that normally came along with disappointing his brothers- but it wasn't there. He just saw the man he had so awkwardly confessed to gazing questionably at him.

"Yuuri?" Conrad tightened his hold a bit more and held on to the one thing he would have left for this one morning. "Wolfram will be fine, he is much more-"

"I'm not worried about Wolfram." Yuuri's eyes illuminated with weight. "I'm watching _you."_

Conrad was suddenly very aware of his appearance and wished he had readied himself at the hour he normally awoke.

"Well I can assure you that I'm fine." He managed the first smile of the morning and tightened his hold on Yuuri's waist a bit more to emphasize the reason for his wellbeing.

"Will you be fine once I'm technically tied to someone else?" Not even a second had passed once Conrad's good mood fell into a frown.

"I'm not going to lie to you. I'm selfish, and the mere idea makes me... angry. But, Yuuri... I am not going to stand between you and your..."

He didn't have a word for it. Destiny? Fate? He could use neither because he knew now that he was the only one included in those two. Your country? Your responsibility?

"I have a better idea." Yuuri was clinging to the button that had been redone incorrectly. He slipped it into the proper slot. "The stable..."

He looked away from Conrad's face, as if he already knew his idea would be rejected. "Ao is there... and so is your horse. If we only had a good hour, before everyone came to get me, we could reach the shore- and from there it's easy- we've got Earth if we can't make it, and-"

"Yuuri."

He stopped him because it was too painful to listen to something he should have done a long time ago. He couldn't bare the bear the fact that Yuuri had been thinking the same thing the entire time and he hadn't acted upon it. Now this option was so out of reach that Conrad hadn't even considered it.

"The entire nation is awaiting your marriage. You've done too much for them to leave now."

Had they done it years before, it would have been so easy. So easy to forget his brothers and his blood, and so easy to make Yuuri understand that he'd give his life for him, regardless of Yuuri never seeing his arm severed or chest pierced as proof.

Yuuri's forehead gently landed on Conrad's chest in painful submission. "You're right... you always are." _You're right. But I wish that you just wouldn't care, if at least momentarily._

Conrad knew it would take along time for them to adjust to this... this life. He knew that this morning was the least of the struggles. He knew that years from now, when Yuuri needed a child, he would lie awake in frustration and a rage that overwhelmed his duty. He knew he would feel his life come up from under him when Yuuri signed that vow, and repeated it- and he knew the pain Yuuri would feel from the lie of it all. He had already thought on it so much that he could already feel the agony of having to embrace him and have him when no one stopped his embarrassing trek down to Conrad's room, when the tongues of the castle were quiet only at night.

Something suddenly boiled in Conrad's chest. He had him- after fifteen years he _had Yuuri-_ and he would have to share him- completely. The only thing that would be theirs would be baseball- the one thing that was _always _theirs- and nothing more. He would have to take pieces of the life he'd want and hand them out like presents to everyone else. No one would expect any different.

But there were far too many scenarios running in his mind to make what he was saying to himself convincing. In all honesty, he _could _complete Yuuri's wishes, and try to sneak off before anyone else found them. He could pull the most selfish trick in the book and just pretend that it had never happened. He knew of places to go, and Yuuri was right- they did have Earth- and either way Conrad would be happy to oblige.

He had mere seconds to choose if he wanted to get away with this still. Seconds to choose if his own desire to be wholly with the boy in his arms would overrun everything else. Which was a stupid thing to say to oneself, when you've lived your whole life telling your head that it was completely true. That your life wasn't yours, or your arm, or any of it at all. That nothing mattered if Yuuri would end up happy.

"I won't leave them."

Disappointment was not necessarily the word for it, but Conrad still felt it. _Them. _He had forgotten that loving Yuuri was the equivalent to loving a country.

The truth wasn't any less stunning than it should have been. Yuuri's words had always had an uncanny jeweler's precision against Conrad's lesser half, and had almost always caused things to happen that Conrad would have never allowed himself to do- but this was just too much. There was nothing they could say to anyone that would fix anything. There was nowhere in the world where guilt wouldn't follow them. And there was no way to step back and watch Yuuri walk, either.

"I'll at least talk to Beverly."

Yuuri wasn't wavering on her name, which meant he had finally come to terms with everything. "Maybe it's not as bad as we think it is. Maybe she'll understand."

Even then, Conrad didn't have the heart to crush that kind of hope. Beverly wasn't the problem. The nation was anticipating a union, and his half blood was finally coiling in defeat.

Yuuri was struggling to keep contact with Conrad, not having enough time to be embarrassed by such close touches in the beginning of their relationship. They both knew that these moments would be unnervingly scarce. Conrad himself, so reserved and so pliant, was having trouble unlinking his arms. They had no time to worry about those things if it meant losing their comfortable quiet.

It was ruptured in an instant.

Someone was yelling outside the bedroom and in the hallway, and Yuuri instantly became all too aware of how close Conrad was. He broke away and swung the door open immediately, noting the pitch of a woman's voice.

Conrad achingly came to his side, reaching out and grabbing his arm before Yuuri could run out into a possible threat.

"It's just a maid!"

And there was one, hysterically running down the hallway towards the King's bedroom.

"What happened?" Conrad loosened his hold and bit the reassurance of his desire down, now that it had come back once he assessed no danger. But the woman was already in front of them, reeling with the news falling from her lips.

"Lord Wolfram! The court- he's meeting the court, and Lord Gwendal sent me here for you two- he says something drastic is about to happen!"

Yuuri grabbed Conrad's hand instantly and tugged him away from the room, forgetting that he wasn't properly dressed, and made for the meeting room.

* * *

All right, another filler chapter down. The next chapter is going to be completely wild and chaotic, and most of the story is going to come together! ….meaning a lot of things, including the rating! I'm just warning you guys, in case I get to throw that in soon, so if you're – well, if you aren't necessarily into that, I'm letting you know now how far this story is going.

This was clearly a filler. I had much more, but in the end, it would have really messed up my chapter divisions. So I've ended it here... to see what you guys are predicting! Maybe Conrad was too quick to judge Wolfram's nonchalant morning...? And, ho ho ho, Yuuri's got a backbone!

I really didn't want to try and pose Waltorana as the evil villain. It's really not so much that he's averse to Conrad, but more his blood... I'd argue that he's over that, but I also believe that he still wouldn't be so honky-dorey about handing over Yuuri- who, in his opinion, is the spitting image of Julia- to someone who had failed Julia once. I'm under the impression that Cheri's little phrase, Royals are Royals, is embedded into the minds of a hell of a lot of them- and I feel like Waltorana would try to preserve that in Yuuri, too. Ah, or you could argue that he's a sweetheart. You know, the usual.

This is NOT a Wolfram bashing story, so don't worry about that.

I WANT TO THANK MY REVIEWERS AGAIN PLEASE! Thank you for your support, reviews, ideas, and encouragement! You guys are seriously saving me here!

Shakuya, Sea Queen, Shippygirl, MissPlague, Freaking Cage, Rodick, pheecat, isamu-michi, luminousSpark, aida135, AzalynAngel, Mesonoxian, Phoenix Noir, riceballcrossidol, xJacksonx, and Shane! ALSO: pyrrhicvictoly, for sending me that wonderful McJesus meal I needed to keep going! (The next chapter is going to need a supersize...!)


	11. Fast Ball

Wolfram sat across the table from his uncle and the rest of the court with their families. He had the false pretenses of holding on to the napkin in front of him daintily, as if the tea they'd been serving would give a horrible stain to the rest of his clothes.

In truth, his uncle looked overjoyed. He had shown up a little late compared to the rest of the attendees, but he would probably brush it off as being fashionable. Cheri had summoned them all for a rundown of the wedding proceedings, and had sat Waltorana at the head of the table. His eyes were gleaming and his cheeks slightly flushed, and he looked as if he had accomplished something.

Wolfram had never been an idiot. Brash, perhaps, but never stupid. He had come to terms with his standing months- _years _ago- and, to put it simply, could care less what Yuuri now did with his private life. The only thing he had been struggling with was how to place himself in a world where Yuuri was now his king and _only_ his king- he'd been so wrapped up in proving something that wasn't real that he had forgotten his responsibilities.

The main point was that his brother was happy and that was clearly due to Yuuri's advances. He could have figured out for himself, asked the two of them, but rumors flew fast in the castle. He could guess which ones were true and which ones hastily fabricated.

To Wolfram, Conrad was a stuttering, love stricken mess- but obviously his efforts had come to fruition- and this, Wolfram had noticed. Cleverly. With the eyes of a hawk.

In the midst of all of this, Wolfram had to admit that he had played a part in which he could have prevented any misgivings towards his king. He could have stood for Yuuri when Waltorana found him in the middle of the night, spewing his thoughts on how to trap the King into an engagement that would eventually lead to Bielefeld prosperity.

He didn't know Beverly, and didn't aim to know her. But he knew that Waltorana had picked her from the bunch, had told Yuuri that a contract with Shinnou could be broken later on when he was tired of being married to someone he didn't love, to just _get it over with, _and to "_Why wait for someone who told you himself that he doesn't love you?"_

Yes, Wolfram could have said something. But he'd be better remembered if he made his grand objection now.

Yuuri was streaming down the corridor, fingers clutching at Conrad's, expertly dodging the maids carrying wedding flowers. Conrad had never once been dragged along, but he didn't have the heart or the mind to complain.

Yuuri chose the perfect time to look back at the man. Luckily he had a clear path and wouldn't run into anything.

"I don't really know what Wolfram is planning-" he paused due to the the velocity of his movement and his strained breathing, "but if what the maid said is true, then I'm kind of worried he'd choose today of all days to blow up on me."

He turned back around and curved a sharp turn up a flight of stairs. For a moment Conrad followed blindly, looking down the other hallway which would have led them straight to the meeting room. Yuuri, as if reading his mind, reassured him.

"Less people the long way around. We'll take the top balcony!"

Waltorana was gazing lovingly at his nephew. The sugar in his tea had long since melted, but the victory he was about to taste would be far sweeter.

Cheri was chattering along with the other girls of court about the gorgeous splendor of the upcoming wedding. At least _she_ was happy with his doing. But it didn't stop the glares of the two prince brothers to pierce his attention.

The meeting hadn't quite yet started. Gwendal was to his left and had tilted his head ever so slightly to suggest he wanted to speak.

"I'd like to ask you where my other brother is. No one seems to be able to find him, and I'm quite sure he's invited to this."

Wolfram bit his tongue and tried heavily to not overhear their conversation, but couldn't help being attentive to the way Waltorana was so easily shrugging off his older brother.

"I'm not really sure where Sir Weller is. Perhaps at the stables? With the horses?"

Gwendal's wrinkles flared and his knuckles clenched.

"No, actually. The servants are to tend to them today. I'm quite sure I sent someone to give him word of today's meeting days ago, but perhaps he's forgotten?"

Waltorana flashed another venomous smile.

"Perhaps. But, you know, I heard His Majesty and Sir Weller have recently had a falling out, and they just simply cannot be in the same room with each other. Sir Weller is probably just avoiding unnecessary confrontation."

Wolfram twitched with his annoyance.

"Brother, I do not wish to hear someone slash another respectful man on the pretenses of rumors. I did not come here to sit with someone so low as to allude to the gossips of kitchen maids and farmhands. We should take this meeting elsewhere."

Waltorana's rage flashed briefly and for only Wolfram's eyes to see. He knew what the man was thinking. _You are of this family. You are of my blood. _He didn't really give a damn anymore.

Before Wolfram could open his mouth, Gwendal raised his palm gently, issuing silence between the three of them. Luckily the tryst had been kept down to slight murmurs, and Cheri and the others were still oblivious to it. As if to keep Wolfram from speaking up anyway, Gwendal pointed to the newest addition to the meeting table.

Pretty, pliant and well-mannered, Beverly had sat into a newly acquired chair with her hands upon her lap. She was only two seats away from Wolfram, though the spaces in between them had not been filled yet.

This was the first good look he had got at the girl. And, without doubt, she would suit Yuuri quite well in the eyes of their people. Brown hair so dark it looked almost ashen, she seemed to be the spitting image of Yuuri in female form. Almond eyes and deep irises. The only thing she was missing was the unmistakable hue of coal the Maoh carried as his appearance. She steadily turned towards Wolfram with a smile that made him flinch from her gaze.

Gwendal nodded at him slowly and greeted Beverly with an equal bow. "Miss Beverly, an honor to see you before the day should be started."

"And you, Lord Voltaire," her voice was light, and crisp- "so that we may know each other better before I am to become a part of your family."

She paused and glanced back at Wolfram.

"Although I have never been introduced properly to your youngest brother. Wolfram Von Bielefeld, was it?"

Wolfram's anger was stirred differently. She was _nice. _An actual _nice fiancée_ that was about to rip Conrad and Yuuri's world apart. He found it so strange, so ironic, that he was beginning to be so wrapped up in _their_ affairs.

"Greetings to you as well, Miss Beverly." It was the best he could come up with.

Waltorana, in his stubborn action to get noticed, bowed deeply so that his forehead nearly touched the red oak of the table.

"Ah, Beverly. A jewel you are today. I'm overjoyed about the prospects of your and His Majesty's future together."

He laid many papers among the table that he had pulled from his coat inlet, all of them leafed in gold.

"It is such an honor that I hold the royal engagement forms for the two of you, and that I be responsible for such a high ranked position."

Wolfram nearly went sick with the uppity language of the courtroom. He was about to roll his eyes at Gwendal when something caught his eye.

Beverly was speaking with Waltorana still, so he allowed his eyes to drift over the papers he had presented. He was telling the truth; he held the official seal, stamp, and letter of the royal engagement. _Shibuya Yuuri Harujuku Fuuri _was clearly written, in the sloppiest hand Wolfram had ever witnessed, across the bottom of the parchment itself. Beverly had curved her name in response.

And yet there was more than one paper.

A small, wretched sliver of one, beneath the piles of the engagement documents. When Yuuri had signed it, he obviously had been upset. He had just written: _Yuuri. _

It was the very contract Yuuri had signed and handed over to Shinnou.

The door to the outward balcony hadn't been used for years, so the hinges had rusted and splintered the wood. It had probably been used by maids years ago to hang laundry from the rooftops, but Conrad broke it down easily without caring about past grievances.

They were climbing up stairways that would lead them outside and back down to the main entryway of the castle foyer, where the meeting room could easily be accessed. By the way Yuuri was taking two steps at a time, Conrad fathomed they didn't have much time to spare.

The endless flights of stairs were coming to a halt, and one last double-door blocked their path onto the balcony. Without much effort, Yuuri pushed it forward, and it snapped open with a gust of wind.

Almost instantly, applause wafted to the balcony and attacked their sense of hearing: shrieking whoops and hollers, whistles and loud instruments. Conrad, in his confusion, covered his eyes with his arm to block the sun. He could see nothing but white, and hear nothing but the screaming of the people below him.

Yuuri was laughing, he noticed. Pointing and laughing, smiling at the thousands of people waving up at him.

When Conrad could finally focus in on just what was going on, he widened his eyes, unbelieving. People were throwing white grain that symbolized a pure marriage up at them, though it hardly reached the height they were at. Waves of white ribbon were being flung around, cries for longevity and prosperity being yelled. The utter loudness made him want to shield his ears.

Yuuri was covering his cheeks and laughing, half from the embarrassment and half from the shocked look on Conrad's face. He had to yell for Conrad to hear him.

"I don't know if they have ever actually seen my fiancée!" He shouted, "They probably think it's you!"

For a moment, Conrad stared at the young man in front of him, his black eyes squinting in the sun and laughing at his embarrassed face. His feet moved as his resolve snapped into place- he snatched Yuuri's hand and pulled him from the railings, running toward the meeting room so that he might stop his and Beverly's wedding.

"My gracious Lords!" It was Cheri who had stood and grabbed the attention of everyone, her ridiculous dress enough to catch the eye. "I'm so excited to have you all here on this day, to celebrate the royal union of the Maoh!"

They all clapped graciously, Beverly's hands dainty and quiet compared to Waltorana's or the others. Wolfram took note that even Adelbert, so aghast at being invited to such a thing and at Yuuri's request, had managed to show and was even _clapping_ (albeit slowly and reluctantly) along.

Many of the lords called out in agreement.

"Yes! It's finally time!"

"It's exquisite that the Maoh found someone who suited him!"

Beverly didn't seem phased by the compliments and continued to sit upright in her chair.

"As you know, the main event will occur today, with many weeks of festivity following afterwards."

The lords murmured in agreement but Wolfram gazed to his older brother. Gwendal seemed to be paying attention to his mother, but the ever present wrinkle between his brows deepened as time went on. Waltorana was as cocky as ever, and yet the other lords seemed to be pleased with the proceedings and virtually innocent. They had no clue what they were destroying.

Wolfram tentatively looked at the representative of the Grantz family. That he was here was miracle enough. But the man was so uneasy around the nobles. There would be no reason to come to this meeting. He would get nothing of it. He was anxious to the trained eye, looking around and seeming to look for someone.

What Wolfram couldn't pretend to not notice was the files under Waltorana's hand. The scrawny signing of Yuuri's signature was enough to make him angry. His uncle had never fully explained what he had told the young king that night, but from the gist of it, he had been manipulative in a way that feigned his innocence; surely Shinnou himself would have stopped him if he knew Waltorana had done it for his own advances.

The only thing Waltorana had admitted to was telling the king of the blood contract. He had mentioned to Wolfram that he had told Yuuri of the contract and how it would be such an easy way to get out of his situation, of being forced to see so many nobles who thought they may have been his "appointed bride." Knowing Yuuri, his argument with Conrad atop of the promise of getting out of royal interviews was more than enough to get him to force the contract over.

Gwendal's eyes deftly met Wolfram's gaze, understanding and sympathetic all at once. He had warned him to keep his tongue still before the meeting had even begun. But it was all so difficult, since he had just met solid ground with Conrad. Since he finally understood both his brothers and respected them, and had grown himself, to keep his tongue was to betray all the years they had struggled for peace within the family.  
He couldn't help but think of a few moments ago, when he had found Conrad in the morning before anyone knew where he was- the lazy look of content in his eyes and the solid brace of confidence in the way he moved again. Wolfram had told his brother that there was nothing he could do about today, and to enjoy what he had left. Which was true.

There was nothing _Conrad _could do about it.

In a split second, Wolfram gazed at his mother apologetically but without remorse, knew the time was now or never, and snapped away from the table, the chair he was sitting in flying towards the other wall. In his chaos the other lords jumped in surprised, swerving to witness the young prince lunge towards Waltorana.

His fury was evident, he was sure, as the other women yelped in surprise and flung away from Wolfram's presence. Waltorana feigned surprise and confusion as Wolfram leered at him. He flew backwards in his chair as the boy's fingers deftly grabbed the papers that were flying everywhere, his mind's eye set on finding the one thing that chained Yuuri's fate to this hideous man and the clueless girl mere feet away from him.

"Wolfram!"

Cheri was calling to him, running from her side of the room, but the table was too long for her to get across it to stop her rampant son.

In a whirlwind the other lords scrambled from the tables and Adelbert was laughing boisterously, and at last Wolfram's fingers clenched the single sheet of paper that had Yuuri's horrible signature drawn across it, and the paper was grasped and flung for everyone to witness in the midst of all the different lords' yells and fears, and Wolfram, alone, stood on the table.

At that exact moment, Yuuri ran and flung the door ungraciously open to the meeting room, Conrad a split second behind him, dazed and confused and his hands outstretched to Wolfram's figure as if to stop him.

"Wolf!"

The room silenced a bit, and they all witnessed their king, the Maoh, walk anxiously towards his ex-fiancé. Conrad was quickly noticing just how many people were there, their eyes catching his, all of them witnessing how close the two had been upon entering the room. He followed Yuuri's beeline, thanking Shinnou that he had grabbed his sword before they had dashed from Yuuri's room that morning.

"Wolf, is this because of what happened? We just talked about this-!"

Wolfram turned around quickly, the contract in his hand, and Yuuri went white at the sight of it.

Waltorana had come to him in the middle of the night. Conrad, moments before, had just confessed that he had never loved him, and Yuuri was in the midst of an agonizing torture that he didn't quite know what to call. He had been very much alone in his room, and the man convinced him that he would not be able to convince his protector otherwise. He had been down the hall the entire time, hearing Yuuri's arguments, and Conrad's response. A blood contract. A way to stop the never ending streams of people he could never satisfy, a way to bury any remnants of the feelings he had for his knight, and a way to get on with his life.

"You signed this, Yuuri."

Wolfram broke him from his mind and the other lord's flinched at Wolfram's voice. Beverly, who had managed to not lose her head in the chaos, was held to Cheri's bosom towards a window in the back wall. The only one still at the table was Adelbert, his palms face down, and he was smiling, waiting for the next move.

"I did, Wolf. I did sign that."

"But you signed this because of a manipulation that you couldn't avoid, and you did not realize that it would be a permanent situation!"

Gwendal stood from the wall, where he had shielded his mother in fear of Wolfram's powers going wild.

"Wolfram, now is not the time-"

Wolfram jumped down from the table and in front of Yuuri, ignoring his eldest brother. Conrad, in defense, walked ever closer to Yuuri's side, trying to ignore the volume of the whispers now tracing their way among the people in the room.

"A contract. You signed a contract because-"

"Not because I wanted to just get away from you, Wolf. Honestly, I-"

"I don't care about that!"

Wolfram looked disgusted, and the entire room gasped in shock. Moments ago they had permanently believed that the prince's behavior was due to his losing of the Maoh as a fiancé, and that he would not be able to deal with the jealousy.

"Is it true?"

One voice broke from the whispers.

It was Beverly, her dress a little mussed from the commotion, and she carefully crept toward the two young men centered at the table. Her right hand held the neck of her dress to keep the buttons from falling apart.

"A contract. I don't know much of them..." she caught Yuuri's eye- "but they can't be good."

"Nonsense!"

Waltorana stood from his position at the head of the table, behind the chair he'd been hiding behind. He was laughing slightly, gesturing towards his audience in mock announcement.

"Every wedding is a contract! They can't possibly be bad. Why don't we take a look at this-"

His biggest mistake was walking a single step towards Wolfram's heated stance. In result, the prince's free hand suddenly flared to life and flames came to his command, and the people went into another panic.

"Wolf!"

Yuuri was shouting and Beverly was moving back, a bit wide eyed, as Conrad attempted to move his body between his brother's and Yuuri's.

Wolfram Von Bielefeld heard none of it and had finally snapped under the falseness of Waltorana's lies. His flames immediately engulfed the contract he held in has hand, and the god forsaken Royal's table along with it.

In an uproar the lord's families fled from the scene, the royal children screaming and following their panicked parents. Adelbert watched and broke into hysterics at the sight of the Royals he hated so much running for their lives, but Yuuri was just amazed at the sight of the contract bursting into flames and flying away into ash. Gwendal was calling for water before the flame grew too strong, ushering out as many people as he could.

"Honestly!" Wolfram shouted, "The fire isn't that bad!"

He laughed at Waltorana's stunned face as Yuuri's laugh of relief met his ears. The Maoh moved forward in disbelief, reaching blindly at Conrad's back, the contract burned and defeated.

YATTA! I've finally updated! I know why it has taken me so long, but I'm so glad to finally get this out and reach the crescendo! I am** so** glad I've got to this part, finally! There will be a few more chapters left, don't worry- I won't leave you without a good Conyuu clincher!

I wanted to give Wolfram his last thunder, and have him use his temper to good use! I really hated making Waltorana so damn evil in this story, yet he is a bit of a hardhead in the anime, anyways. I hope you guys enjoyed this update, and the slightly different take on the way I wrote it. I wanted to throw in some extra opinions from more than just Conrad! Plus a little brotherly love, 'cause heck, this is a bit of years after the anime- they better all love eachother by then!

And we finally meet Beverly! Not sure if she will be more included. Though I do like the idea of her. But I'm not much into Original Characters, so, blah.

Favorite part of writing this chapter?

Adelbert's laughter, yes.

GREAT THANKS TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS AND READERS!!! An outstanding thank you, thank you thank YOU!!! to : pyrrhicvictoly, xJacksonx, ELENIOFME, I.h.o.o.q., Miss Plague, Sea Queen, markyc58, Shippygirl, sweetsally, yume-m, isamu-michi, Freaking Cage, Katie, Nadeshiko Tenshi, Adrianerose, Anon, St. Tranny, dogpiss, eternaltorture, amuto1283, anime-videogame-maniac-pie, and hellcat92!!!

THANK YOU for staying with me throughout this long time of drought!! I know, I know- I need to step up the updates!! I will try my best... I hope you all enjoyed! Thanks so much for sticking with it!!


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